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"I owe the bank $15,000, and my husband doesn’t know"
How much money do you owe the banks now?” asked my husband, and I replied, “Around $5,300.” He went on to ask me why I owe so much money. I explained that it was due to two years of freelancing and old bills. I quickly added that I now have a full-time job, so he doesn’t have to worry, as I can easily clear the bill.
Little did he know that I am in a lot of debt. In fact, I owe credit card bills by around $15,000 on two cards. On one card, I am making monthly payments of around $580 to clear a quick-cash plan, and another has snowballed to $10,000. I don’t have a solid plan to clear these bills except to make monthly payments of around $2,000.
Every time my husband asks me about my finances, I would say that I’m doing OK. I’m not sure if he knows that I’m lying and closes one eye. Previously, around six years ago, my husband caught me lying and demanded to listen in when I called the bank to check on my credit card balances. After that, I managed to clear that bill and was debt-free for a while. He had continued to listen in on my bank card calls for a few more years, and has since stopped after I kept a clean record consistently. I can’t imagine him listening in now – it might just ruin our marriage.
I continue to spend money as usual, buying daily supplies and indulging my husband and kid with small snacks like crackers and chocolate. I honestly don’t know how exactly I ended up in debt. My insurance plans come up to about $4,500 a year. I only own two designer bags. My mobile phone is 3 years old. I don’t have a car (my husband does) and I book a Grab wherever I go (I have been trying to take more buses now). And we are even renting out an apartment. We also have a domestic helper who’s helping out my elderly parents. I may have overspent on baby stuff when my kid was small but I have always shared those expenses with my husband. Perhaps I didn’t pay them off on time. I honestly can’t remember.
Recently, we (mainly, him) made a bad investment and lost all our savings (around $70,000). Thankfully, we still have our apartment churning out rental income, and I still have a job that pays around $5,000. My husband’s job is commission-based and his income is not fixed. Sometimes, he brings home $3,000, and other times, $8,000. But, of late, with the Covid-19 circuit breaker situation, the nature of his job doesn’t allow him to work, so we’re down to one salary. The only good thing to come out of this Covid-19 outbreak for me is I don’t go out, so I spend less and I drastically cut down on my commuting expenses. (When we go out for essentials, my husband would drive.)
I also can’t cut off big expenses like having a helper as that would make life more troublesome for my parents, and most importantly, it would also bring attention to where we allocate the new shared savings.
So every now and then, when my husband says things like, “Thank goodness, one of us has a full-time job,” I would feel extremely guilty. I would then do my best to put on a brave face so that he wouldn’t suspect a thing. I really want this debt nightmare to quickly end before I get discovered. That is my greatest fear now.
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