This month, media personality Jade Seah says you should define your relationship fast when finding a partner on dating apps.

Portrait of Tammy Strobel

I used to throw Singles’ Parties when I was single so my friends and I could meet more people. I never really had the chance to get into dating apps. I was in a serious relationship by the time these apps got mainstream. Instead, I played around with my girlfriends’ accounts on their phones, and it seemed like a fun and easy way to get to know guys.

If I suddenly found myself single again, these apps will introduce a new dimension of relationship problems that I never dealt with previously! You see, I’m a romantic. Methinks dating apps, with their casual hook-up culture, aren’t suitable for romantics who have an old-fashioned view of love. Although not everyone is there for that purpose, a substantial number are. That isn’t what this romantic would be after. What would kill me is knowing that a guy whom I’m dating was secretly “roaching” (two-timing) on me.

If we never agreed on making our arrangement exclusive, he’s entitled to date other people. This brings me to the next point of jealousy and insecurity. It would really kill me, wondering who else he’s asking, “How’s your day?” I think many romantics want to be special to that one person. Dating apps can set you up for a rude shock when you get “ghosted” (he calls it quits at any stage of the relationship without telling you).

You’d be left thinking if he fell off a cliff when he was really “benching” you like a substitute, until someone else he really fancied came along. Truth is,  he was just not that into you.

So, a tip from my girlfriends: if you’re expecting more, have that Define The Relationship (DTR) conversation sooner than later!

All said, I’d still venture into the world of dating apps if single, even though I have many friends and a job that lends me many opportunities to meet people. But finding someone who feels the same way about you is harder. I imagine this is tougher for introverts who don’t put themselves out there as much.

Then, there are the high flyers who wouldn’t consider dating apps for fear of going public. I think it’s a shame to limit oneself. Think about it: Katy Perry was a user of Tinder, Amy Schumer met her ex on the Raya app, and Chace Crawford had several such accounts. Closer to home, local celeb and my buddy, Sheila Sim, found love on a dating app. The lucky man, Deon Woo, proposed to her six months after they met. That’s DTR, ladies!