What’s “sexy”?

There’s no ironclad – or, indeed, micro-mini-clad – answer. PEARLYN THAM feels like a hottie even in her mandals and billowing skirts.

Portrait of Tammy Strobel
My Reading Room

There’s no ironclad – or, indeed, micro-mini-clad – answer. PEARLYN THAM feels like a hottie even in her mandals and billowing skirts.

Once upon a time, I did sexy. Or what was, to me, the obvious, orthodox type of sexy: little black dress, smoky-glittery eye makeup and four-inch-high wedges.
Then my hips got wider, my eyes became allergic to eyeshadow shimmer and my heels got caught in a hole in the office carpet – I fell in a heap; my colleagues fell about laughing. Needless to say, I never did sexy that way again.
I also developed a paranoia of sorts – I needed to feel safe in what I wore every day. I worried about my short, flippy skirts giving me a wardrobe malfunction on windy days (and they always did). I couldn’t enjoy dinners because I’d be tugging my dress down to cover my thighs, and doing so left me fretting about my barely covered chest. I was convinced that there was a pothole in every carpet, waiting to trip me up. There was definitely nothing sexy about feeling nervy and selfconscious all day.
So I switched to ballerina flats and mandals. And since they didn’t give me the swagger and elongated calves that complement sexy clothes, I started wearing fuller and longer skirts, trapeze dresses, roomy culottes and oversized tunics – stuff you wouldn’t typically wear for sashaying about on a first date or to turn heads with. A good thing then, that fashion silhouettes were becoming more relaxed; my slowing metabolism fitted in better with this scheme of dressing too."

When my boobs aren’t exposed, I am at ease and feel 100 per cent sexy.

It’s all very simple, really. When I know that my skirt isn’t wedged between my butt cheeks and my boobs aren’t exposed, I am at ease, I am confident and I am myself – that’s when I feel 100 per cent sexy. I know some women take a look at my clothes and think “man-repeller”, but hey, the right guy will think you’re hot because he has eyes only for you – mandals, billowing skirts and all.
Have I felt any less sexy since then? No. I’ve never felt sexier than I do now.
Besides, it’s 2015, and I’d like to think we’re past dressing for the men. Just wear whatever makes you feel good! Regardless of your preferred style, there’s nothing more important than feeling comfy in your clothes.
And that’s the real sexy.

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