Is Cheating In Our DNA?

A study in 2016 suggested that women are more likely to cheat than men. But is it true? And if so, what does that mean for our relationships?

byKaren Fong March 2017

A study in 2016 suggested that women are more likely to cheat than men. But is it true? And if so, what does that mean for our relationships?

When it comes to TV shows and movies, women tend to be portrayed as the ones always searching for love and looking to settle down.

This might lead you to believe we’re also more likely to stick with a marriage through thick and thin, Hillary Clinton-style, but guess again. When it comes to cheating, you might be surprised to find that women are just as likely to do it as men.

According to a study by scientists and psychologists from the University of Texas and California State University, heterosexual women in relationships are likely to seek out alternative mates in what they call a “mate-switching hypothesis”, which says that humans have evolved to keep testing their relationships and looking for better partners for the long term.

The study takes into account the behaviour of past societies, stating that our female ancestors faced three kinds of scenarios that would prompt them to switch mates: a perceived decline in value of their current partner, an increase in their own value, and the presence of potential partners of higher value that weren’t around before. The study goes on to suggest that women have affairs to cultivate “backup mates” and to “assess the viability of a switch, to render the transition back into the mating market easier, or to trade up to a new partner who is... higher in mate value than their current partner.”

Another study by the University of Queensland put it down to hormones like vasopressin. It found that women who have a genetic mutation in the receptor gene for vasopressin are more likely to cheat – however, this does not affect men in the same way. Vasopressin influences feelings of empathy, trust and affection, so it makes sense that it would have an affect on sexual behaviour. Whether or not the gene mutates is dependent on your parents, since you get one from each of them. However, beyond running a gamut of tests, there’s no easy to find out if you carry this mutation. This is a great argument for those who say “it’s not my fault”.

A relationship on the rocks.

“Women usually cheat because they feel in some way that they have been abandoned in the relationship.”

Here in Singapore, there has also been a notable rise in statistics showing that women cheat as much as men. A story by The Straits Times published in May 2015 stated that for every 10 cases of infidelity handled by lawyers and private investigators, about half were because the wife strayed. A decade ago, this was only two to three out of 10, though we’re going to venture that’s just as much because of the modernisation of social norms and women becoming less traditional, as much as genetics.

Now, we’re pretty sure that, when it comes to cheating, most women don’t immediately think “this man will be a better provider for me in the future” and jump ship. More common reasons tend to be emotions like loneliness, general unhappiness in the relationship, or even revenge.

“Women usually cheat because they feel in some way they have been abandoned in the relationship,” says Anoushka Beh of Abehpsych Counselling. “They may feel that [their partner] is not supportive or attentive on an emotional level, or perhaps even in terms of intimacy. Of course, there are a host of other reasons why women cheat, some of which may include differing sexual needs from their partners, as a form of rebelliousness or punishment, or due to addictive and/or behavioural issues with boundaries.”

But don’t berate yourself every time someone other than your partner makes your heart skip a beat. Interestingly, wanting to cheat may not necessarily be a bad thing. “Shaming yourself for having these feelings can be counterproductive,” says Anoushka. “This desire may be an opportunity to review whether or not a spark or another element in your relationship is missing and that work is needed to heal and reconnect. It may also be a warning sign that your relationship is not aligned with your authentic needs, and a chance to consider if something needs to shift or if you need to perhaps think about moving on.”