You’re such a boar!
I tried very, very hard to be buddies with my new boyfriend’s mates (guys). But they don’t seem to be taking well to me. What can I do to make them accept me?
Seem is the operative word here. I’ve rarely thought poorly about my friends’ new crushes. At the very worst, I’ve had no opinion of them other than their looks because sometimes, they’re shy and they don’t volunteer too much info. WOMEN KNEW Possibly, I might have seemed to not like them. Maybe this is what you’re encountering.
I’ve learnt from my local friends to “talk cock”! Yeah, tell everyone that you look at Zac Efron because he’s a hottie, but you hate his films. It’s okay, let it all hang out! At least they’ll either love you or hate you, and you’ll know it for sure.
My husband snores. He has refused to use the device that stops his snoring. I’m losing sleep over this. What can I do to make this boar stop and listen?
Maybe stop calling him a boar for starters. People are less likely to comply when you call them barnyard animals. Why not record his snoring and start a social media account called My Little Piggy? Post a video of him snoring every day. You’ll only kill the account – if he kills his snoring. Yes, it’s sort of a blackmail.
If the whole social media thing is not your cup of tea because you’re what they call “a good person”, just show your hubby his “music” video and ask him how he would be able to sleep next to that.
It might get him to empathise with you just a little more.
IF ONLY WOMEN KNEW
Sometimes, the divide between the sexes is great. Actually, most times this divide is great. And there are a couple of things men wish women knew about how they think and operate.
Okay ladies, it’s no fault of ours when we don’t notice something new about you. We can be “blind”.
Don’t take it personally. I’m not making excuses for mankind. If women are from Venus and men are from Mars, I say just think of us as the human versions of doggos. Or imagine us to be Buttons, your beloved scruffy terrier. If Buttons didn’t notice your new bangs, or that you had changed the cushions on the couch, you wouldn’t get mad at him, right?
To us, it’s just another day in paradise because we get to be around you – with or without the new bangs.
Speaking of which, know this too: We love you, but that doesn’t mean we want to be attached at the hip. No one should be with another person for too long. And if the Circuit Breaker has taught us anything about relationships – absence does make the heart grow fonder, or at the very least keeps you from going insane.
Absence is very important. Otherwise, how are we going to miss you if we’re always in the same room eyeing each other like a couple of creeps?
Have any questions about men and their romantically obtuse ways? E-mail Jason at email@example.com, follow him on Twitter (@bigsmilenoteeth) and like his Facebook page at www.facebook.com/bigsmilenoteeth.
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