Ten real couples (who’ve been married for 10 to 30 years) share their secret pearls of wisdom with The Weekly.


Ten real couples (who’ve been married for 10 to 30 years) share their secret pearls of wisdom with The Weekly.

Kids, money worries, infidelity or resentment are among the things that can put a dampener on romance. Most of us are willing to put in the hard work for “happily ever after”, but marriage really starts to get challenging after the honeymoon phase has long passed.
So, it is really possible to reignite the spark in your marriage? The Weekly speaks to real-life couples on what it takes to make the bonds of love last.
MARRIED FOR: 26 YEARS
THOMAS LIM, 53

MARRIED FOR: 10 YEARS
TAY WEE LIANG, 46

MARRIED FOR: 20 YEARS
MOHAMMAD SOFIANDI, 46
Patience is the key to a long-lasting marriage, according to Sofiandi and Marini. “In married life, there will always be ups and downs – but you need to take time to listen to each other and really talk things out,” says Sofiandi. “We never go to bed angry; if we have issues, we get to the bottom of them the same day, so we can sleep in peace.” Marini adds: “We must remember why we chose our spouses in the first place. My husband is very sweet, and a true gentleman. I know he loves me for me. I just can’t stay mad at him, because I miss talking to him.”

MARRIED FOR: 22 YEARS
CLAIRE NAZAR, 46
BOAZ NAZAR, 51
“MARITAL ISSUES CAN BE A WALL BETWEEN YOU, OR A FORTRESS YOU BUILD YOUR MARRIAGE UPON”
Claire and Boaz believe fights are an inevitable part of marriage, but it’s how you deal with them that makes or breaks your relationship. “Marital issues can be a wall between you, or a fortress you build your marriage upon,” says Claire. You can look back on your issue and say: ‘See how we handled that so well’, and celebrate it.” Boaz adds: “Always keep a positive emotional account; keep depositing good memories daily, so your account will not be overdrawn. It’s the little things, like kissing each other ‘good morning’ and ‘goodnight’, that add up over time.”

MARRIED FOR: 14 YEARS
JOSEPH KOH, 40

MARRIED FOR: 30 YEARS
SIU WAH, 66

MARRIED FOR: 10 YEARS
TONG YEE, 44
Find relationship advice, date ideas and more from these organisations
Families for Life is a people-sector Council which creates platforms for family bonding and engaging Singaporeans in conversations about family. www.familiesforlife.sg
Offering a variety of counselling services for couples in Singapore, Alliance Counselling aims to help couples settle conflicts and form stronger ties with each other. www.alliance counselling.com.sg 6466 8120