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Is your lack of self-confidence standing in the way of your life and dreams? Heart-to-Heart Psychotherapy tells you how it can help.

Portrait of Tammy Strobel

Is your lack of self-confidence standing in the way of your life and dreams? Heart-to-Heart Psychotherapy tells you how it can help.


Two years after a nasty divorce, Jane, who’d been married for 18 years, and had worked hard to resolve her deep anger and resentment towards her ex, finally felt ready to start dating again.

To get back in the game, she signed up with an online dating site and met a man she felt a connection with. After a week of chatting, they decided to meet for dinner.

Jane thought things were going well, but just 10 minutes into the date, the man got up abruptly, said “I’m not interested”, and walked off . Shocked, she sat there dumbfounded as waves of rejection and sadness washed over her.

A torrent of negative thoughts ran through her head: “My hips are wide. I’m not attractive and I’m such a bore. Why would a goodlooking, successful man ever be interested in a loser like me?”

While it’s normal to feel hurt after a rejection, blaming yourself does not help your emotional health. And whether we realise it or not, we may all be guilty of negative self-talk, to varying degrees, says psychotherapist Jasmine Siang of Heart-to-Heart Psychotherapy.

The irony is that self-inflicted negativity will only make you feel worse about yourself, and diminish your sense of self-worth at a time when you most need encouragement and a kind word.

Low self-esteem can have an impact on your life in ways you may not realise. It can manifest itself in different ways, from a fear of taking risks to meeting new people. It can also limit your potential at work as you may be afraid to ask for what you deserve or assert yourself to meet your goals. This constant psychological struggle with feelings of shame, fear, guilt and worth can seriously limit the quality of your life and relationships.

Besides offering much needed support and encouragement, psychotherapy can help you work towards developing a stronger sense of self, which will help you manage those negative feelings.

It also helps in changing the way you think about yourself, so you can learn to appreciate your strengths and positive attributes, and start treating yourself with kindness and empathy.

Whether you’ve been dealing with low self-esteem for a long time, or whether it was brought on by a major life change like divorce or losing a job, Jasmine is confident psychotherapy can help. It begins with making small changes every day, and is a start to a more fulfilling life where you can live up to your fullest potential.

To make an appointment, call or SMS Heart-to-Heart Psychotherapy (#09-19 The Central, Soho 1) at 9792-2290 or visit for more information.