If sex used to be good but now has you sobbing into your pillow because of pain, something’s not right. finds out JO UPCR AFT how to overcome the discomfort.
If sex used to be good but now has you sobbing into your pillow because of pain, something’s not right. finds out JO UPCR AFT how to overcome the discomfort.
Our experts
DR KELLY LOI, medical director, gynaecologist and obstetrician at the Health and Fer tility Centre for Women.
DR CHRISTOPHER CHONG, urogynaecologist and gynaecologist at Gleneagles Hospital.
You haven’t just given birth, over-limbered at the gym, or attempted to show your girlfriends that, yes, you can still do a split on a recent night out. But, for some reason, your lady par ts are experiencing discomfort during sex. “Painful sex, medically known as dyspareunia, is a common problem,” says Dr Kelly Loi, medical director, gynaecologist, obstetrician at the Health and Fer tility Centre for Women. “I see two to three patients a month about it.”
Pinpointing why sex is painful can be difficult as it may not be just physical. There could be psychological reasons, too. “This is why communication is paramount,” adds Dr Loi. “You must seek help as a couple sooner rather than later because, if the issue manifests, it could lead to cracks in the entire relationship.”
There are a number of reasons why lovemaking can suddenly become unbearable, and the majority can be diagnosed. Read on to understand your body better, so you make only the right kind of screams in the heat of the moment.
A RETROVERTED WOMB
If there’s any sexual move that’s easily mastered, it’s the one that involves us just, well, lying on our back. However, Dr Christopher Chong, urogynaecologist and gynaecologist at Gleneagles Hospital, says around 20 per cent of women have a retrover ted uterus. This means their womb is tipped backwards and points towards the rectum, making the missionary position painful.
“A retroverted uterus also comes with ovaries and fallopian tubes that are tipped backwards as well, and can get butted by the head of the penis during intercourse,” Dr Chong explains. Two words: Passion killer. Turn it into oohs! Your gynaecologist can determine if you have a retrover ted uterus. During sex, give alternative positions, such as entry from the rear, a whirl. “These are usuallly not painful for those with a retroverted uterus,” says Dr Chong.
“How I got over painful sex”
Angela Lim*, 40, went to great lengths to stop sex being painful and to save her love life.
“In 2010, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Post-treatment, I was put on Tamoxifen to balance hormones and prevent reccurrence of the cancer. One of its side effects is vaginal dryness. “We tried lubricants and different positions, but sex still hurt, so I started avoiding making love altogether, which made my husband think I was no longer attracted to him.
“As we were both upset and confused, I visited my gynae, who suggested vaginal laser treatment, and explained that it was new here, and that I wouldn’t need any anaesthesia or pre-procedure painkillers. “It involved five five-minute sessions set one month apart. The laser breaks down collagen in the vagina, causing it to rebuild itself with more elasticated tissue.
“I started on it a few weeks later and all I felt were little vibrations from the laser. After the first treatment, sex with my husband a few days later was 80 per cent better, with only discomfort around the vaginal opening. By the third session, sex was 100 per cent better.
By the fifth and last one, my vaginal walls were relaxed and stretchy, like before the cancer. “I’ll need a yearly top-up session, but it’s a small price to pay. My sex life is now back to normal and my hubby and I couldn’t be happier.”
*Name has been changed.
STRESSING OUT OVER SEX
“The vagina is a stretchy organ,” says Dr Chong. “If a baby can exit it, there’s little chance a penis will have trouble entering it.” But only as long as you’re stimulated enough prior to entry, he adds. Turn it into oohs! “Go slow,” he suggests. “Make sure you’re lubricated, have had sufficient foreplay and are not stressed, as this can cause the vaginal muscles to cramp up.
Take your time. Instead of concentrating on his manhood focus on how your body feels, and be patient.” Most impor tantly, talk to your husband when you’re making love. He needs to know that he must be gentle and loving. “Deep, continuous movements can only happen once you’ve relaxed into things,” says Dr Chong.
YOU HAVE IRRITABLE BOWEL SYNDROME (IBS) This condition can include symptoms like abdominal pain, bloat, and constipation or diarrhoea that can contribute to painful sex. “The intestines are very close to the pelvic area,” says Dr Chong. “Having sex when you have IBS can cause friction and lead to further inflammation of the intestines because of the movement during intercourse.”
Turn it into oohs! Star t by treating your IBS. Talk to your doctor about ways to reduce symptoms, including diet, medication and managing stress. Meditation techniques and longer foreplay can reduce your anxiety and make you feel more relaxed during intercourse.
YOU’RE BREASTFEEDING
How can par ts up there affect par ts down there? Pain during sex is common in breastfeeding women because of hormones. “Oestrogen helps keep the vagina lubricated and flexible,” explains Dr Loi. “But when women are breastfeeding, their oestrogen levels are lower than usual, and this hampers the production of natural lubrication.” Turn it into oohs! Oestrogen pessaries or creams can help reduce dryness. Vaginal lubricants can also help. Both are available from pharmacies.
ENDOMETRIOSIS
This condition – where the lining of the uterus star ts growing in other areas – can cause sensitivity and pain, especially if the growth is near the vaginal wall. Sex can become painful due to inflammation and friction from lovemaking.
Turn it into oohs! “A biopsy of cells can decipher whether you’re a sufferer and where the growth is happening,” says Dr Chong. “Cer tain contraceptive pills can lessen the symptoms of endometriosis, and Panadol can help reduce pain.” Couples can also benefit from positions that avoid deep moves, like spooning, where your partner lies behind you. This creates less pressure on sensitive areas.
VAGINAL INFECTION
Urine and yeast infections, as well as genital herpes, can turn sex into a chore, too. “It depends on the infection and how far it has spread. For instance, herpes can cause blisters which are tender when touched,” warns Dr Chong. “Small scrapes or cuts at the entrance to the vagina can also hurt like crazy because of the friction.”
Turn it into oohs! Most infections can be cleared with a course of antibiotics. “See your doctor immediately and avoid sex altogether until the issue is resolved,” says Dr Chong. “Many are not only contractable, but they’ll worsen if you continue making love when your body is unwell.” Also, check with your doctor about whether your husband will need tests.
VAGINISMUS Vaginismus is the painful spasmodic contraction of the vagina in response to physical contact or pressure, especially during sexual intercourse. “When this happens, penetration hurts,” explains Dr Loi. Some causes are stress, anxiety or not being physically or emotionally in the right headspace for sex.
Turn it into oohs! All is not lost. See your gynaecologist for an internal examination. “And do kegel exercises. Pull in the muscles that you use to stop yourself going to the toilet tight, and hold for 10 seconds. Once a day, do about 20 kegels at a time,” says Dr Loi. SH
