Got a relationship problem? Jason Godfrey, our resident guy expert, is here to help.
I might get my teeth knocked out just for trying. Pass.
How do I deal with my partner who is always comparing his salary to mine, making me feel bad about it when I shouldn’t. I make $2,000 more than him, and he’s always telling me that I should pay for everything. Should I just dump this doofus?
The short answer: Yes, dump the doofus. The long answer: There is something to be said about a person who doesn’t have as much resources as his partner, but still tries to make things equal between them. That’s the mark of a gentleman, I might say.
It says a lot about a person’s (good) character that he’s still willing to go fifty-fifty on everything. But in this scenario, methinks the partner who is making more bucks should be willing to pay a little extra. Fair, right?
But it’s a completely different matter when the other party who is earning less feels entitled or bitter, and starts to insist or demand that you pay for everything from A to Z. Uh-uh, no fair.
So yeah, dump the (unreasonable) doofus.
I have a secret crush on this hot guy at work, but the problem is, he has a girlfriend. We get along really great and I feel some chemistry between us. Should I ask him out or is it a completely bad move?
Oh, that’s daring all right. That’s challenging his girlfriend to show up and punch you right in the mouth for pulling moves on her boyfriend.
Yes, asking a dude who’s attached to go on a date is really a bad, bad idea, girl! You’re not just risking to get (rightfully) punched in the face – it’s also not something a good person would do (and I don’t mean his girlfriend who’s gonna be swinging punches at you)!
While you two may have chemistry – or he may think about you in the same way – until he loses the girlfriend, you’re going to have to suck it up and wait by the sidelines.
By the way, before you think of (I know what you’re thinking), engineering a break-up so you can get some play time, that’s also a really bad, bad move, girl. Don’t.
People have wandering eyes. We check out the opposite sex even if we’re happy in our relationship. If this is you – and you can’t keep your eyes off the hot dude in short shorts – don’t feel bad about it. Please.
It doesn’t mean you’re falling out of love or that you don’t want to be with your current man. You’re also not being unfaithful! It just means you’re human. We are engineered to check out the opposite sex because that’s what we’ve been put here (on earth) to do. We select the best mate, procreate, then return to the dustbin of time.
It doesn’t sound too sexy, but that’s the truth. It also means we are built to assess other men and women other than our partners – just like how we admire beautiful things we see. Same concept, different subject matter.
Then comes the challenge: It’s easy to stay together when it’s fresh and it all ends on the pillow for a few hours. But it’s harder when all the lust begins to fade – and reality sinks in.
Sure, one can seek new partners every week. But building a deeper relationship of trust and friendship with another person is what it’s all about.
Once you realise that, you can appreciate how good a passing stranger looks, and realise that it really has nothing to do with what you already have!
Have any questions about men and their romantically obtuse ways? E-mail Jason at magherworld@sph.com.sg, follow him on Twitter (@bigsmilenoteeth) and like his Facebook page at www.facebook.com/bigsmilenoteeth.
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