ASK JAY

Lately, I’ve noticed that my husband is letting himself go. He has stopped exercising and is starting to look like a hobo! How do I get him to care for his appearance again?

Maybe he thinks you’re into hobo chic? Maybe he saw you watching the Blade trilogy and noticed you staring extra hard at Kris Kristofferson? There are plenty of reasons for a man to get fat and begin wearing the same clothes until his underwear evaporates around his genitals, but the main one is, he’s a man! Start working out with him and tell him how great he looks afterwards.

Pick out some clothes for him and get your friends to tell him how awesome he looks. Let him know he’s hotter when he is trying, because trust me, being overweight and dumpy is the default setting for a guy.

My new man has a low sex drive. I’m always the one initiating sex and once, he even fell asleep while we were doing the deed. Could this be a sign that he’s just not that into me?

Traditionally, the start of a relationship is when the clothes are flying off at every given chance and the deed is being done on every available surface. But maybe he’s with you for other equally worthy attributes. Or perhaps he doesn’t initiate sex because he thinks you always do, or he fears rejection. As for falling asleep, he may just have horribly inconvenient narcolepsy. Maybe.

I’m dating an Australian based in Singapore who wants us to move in together. I’m an only child from a traditional Asian family and my parents will flip if I fly the coop before marriage. How do I make him understand?

Tell him how much you love him, but that you can’t live together with him. Yet. Then, remind him how fun it is not to live together. You can’t complain about the toilet seat being left up, he doesn’t have to sit through you binge-watching Gossip Girl, and he doesn’t need to turn off the air conditioning because you’re shivering whereas he’s got sweat running in a little river down his back and into the seat of his pants. Tell him, when you guys get married, he can experience all that good stuff – for the rest of his life.

I earn more than my boyfriend and work in an industry where people dress in designer labels and want to be seen at the coolest places. While I’m fine with eating at food courts, he feels pressured to bring me to fancy places. How do I let him know he doesn’t need to do that?

How do you tell a man, “Stop taking me to expensive restaurants and start taking me to $5 food courts?” You just tell him. No guy is going to be all that hurt if you tell him, “Hey, I like you, you don’t need to impress me, and sometimes, the nosh at a food court hits the spot better than some beef-infused foam at a swanky place.” Just don’t tell him it’s because you know he can’t afford it. Sometimes, it’s not about lying, it’s about omitting the truth.

Have more questions about men and their romantically obtuse ways? E-mail Jason at magherworld@sph.com.sg, follow him on Twitter (@bigsmilenoteeth) and like his Facebook page at www.facebook.com/ bigsmilenoteeth.

PHOTO OF JASON TAN WEI TE ART DIRECTION ALICE CHUA STYLING VIOLET FOO HAIR ASHLOI, USING SEBASTIAN PROFESSIONAL MAKEUP KEITH BRYANT LEE SHIRT PRADA MAIN PHOTO 123RF.