Have you ever wondered… How to tell if he’s just not that into you?

In which we ask three men to get candid on a very hot topic.

Portrait of Tammy Strobel

In which we ask three men to get candid on a very hot topic.

Justin Vanderstraaten, 25

“There’s one crucial thing you should keep in mind when assessing if he likes you: whatever happened on the first date is completely irrelevant. Hear me out: first dates are about leaving an impression. Every joke you crack will be laughed at; every smile, returned. If you want a proper indicator of his interest in you, I’d suggest looking no further than comparing the communication between the two of you pre-date and post-date. Is he still the sweetheart you’ve been telling all your friends about? Does he still ask you about your day at work? Conversely, do you still hear about his annoying colleague and his brother’s latest shenanigans?

It’s no secret that men don’t talk about their lives as much as you’d like them to, so if he’s telling you even less than usual, chances are, either he doesn’t value your opinion anymore or he’s just not that into you. If it feels like he’s pulling away, he is. Let him go.

Finally, the most obvious sign of him being interested in you would be the ease the both of you set a second date. Remember, there’s no such thing as ‘too busy’ if he’s into you. Any guy will attest to the fact that if he really wants to see a girl, he’ll make it happen come hell or high water. Also, if his date ideas always involve alcohol, the social – ahem – lubricant, there’s a very real possibility he’s not that into you, and that he just wants to get into you. If you know what I mean.”

Kishan.J, 24
Kishan.J, 24

“I mean, we try our best not to hurt your feelings, so we find it hard to just tell you it’s not working out. One easy way to tell? Blue ticks. If you’re constantly getting blue ticked on WhatsApp without getting any replies from him, chances are, you’re not his priority.

Usually, it’s pretty easy to tell if there’s any connection or not within the first two dates. If he starts gulping down drinks within a short period of time, checks his watch for the time, and smiles without teeth – well, you can bet he’s just not that into you.”

Marc Lim, 29
Marc Lim, 29

“Most guys who are interested in a girl usually wouldn’t take that long to reply, unless he’s trying not to be seen as too available, which sometimes has the unintentional effect of scaring a girl off. Of course, if he’s constantly online on WhatsApp and giving you blue ticks without replying, he’s probably not interested in maintaining the conversation. In Singapore’s context, however, it’s possible the MRT is down and he’s reporting the fault on WhatsApp.

If you ask a guy out and he says he’s busy with work without suggesting an alternative day, yeah, he’s busy working – working another girl. This is essentially the same as when a person says “let’s catch up soon”. What if that happens to you? One word: run.”

Text Compiled By Sophie Hong.