If you’ve never played hard to get with your husband, you might want to now. As 38-year-old sales manager Karen* shares, making him wait is a great way to put the fun back into your sex life. AS TOLD TO SASHA GONZALES.
“Eugene* and I have been married for 11 years. We have sex once or twice a week. It’s always satisfying, but we rarely have time for foreplay. We’re both exhausted by the time we get into bed – work and our two young kids keep us on our toes – so it’s almost always impossible to enjoy more than 10 or 15 minutes together when we do make love.
“But foreplay is so important. Before life got super busy, Eugene and I would spend ages in bed together, just kissing, messing around, and building up this crazy sexual tension. Then we’d have the most explosive sex.”
It Started When I Forgot My Undies.
“But while we don’t have that much time for foreplay now, I think we’ve stumbled onto something even better. It started three years ago, when I forgot to wear my undies before leaving the house for a friend’s wedding. I know it sounds ridiculous. Who would forget to put on underwear, right?
But Eugene – who’s 40 and a business manager – and I were rushing as we were very late for the wedding. I’d planned to wear my lace undies with a formal long dress and kept reminding myself to take them out of the drawer. But the scene at home was so chaotic that it wasn’t until we’d arrived at the venue that I realised I was pantyless. Blushing, I turned to Eugene and said, ‘Oh my gosh, I forgot to put on underwear!’
“I expected him to shake his head in disbelief or laugh at me. Instead, he told me that that really turned him on. Throughout the dinner, he couldn’t stop smiling or keep his hands off me."
"Seeing him that way got me excited, too. It was torture for us both because we wanted so desperately to have sex but couldn’t. When we got home, we ravaged each other like there was no tomorrow."
“Intrigued by Eugene’s reaction to my not wearing panties, I tried it again a few months later. We were having dinner with friends when I leaned over and whispered in his ear that I had gone commando.
“I added that it was a shame we were out because I was extremely aroused. This drove him crazy and that was all the foreplay we needed when we got home."
“I still play this pantyless game with Eugene, but only once or twice a year, and always when he least expects it. I don’t want to make it a regular occurrence because I don’t want it to lose its appeal or for him to get bored with it.”
“There are other ways I keep mu husband lusting after me, like sending him sexy texts while he’s at work, or whispering sexually suggestive things in his ear before he leaves the house."
“I’ll say things like: ‘I’m imagining us naked. In bed. Right now...’ or ‘I can’t wait until we’re alone together tonight. The things I want to do to you…’ I don’t say too much, just enough to get his imagination running a bit wild."
“Once in a while, I’ll even send Eugene sexy photos, but nothing too crazy. Once, I went clothes shopping during my lunch break. After trying on a few outfits, I decided to take a few sexy snaps of myself in the fitting room."
“I got into some really suggestive poses in just my bra and panties, and e-mailed the photos to Eugene. He got all hot and bothered, and pleaded with me to meet him at home – just for an hour – so we could make love, but I told him I couldn’t because I had an important meeting to attend.
“He wouldn’t stop texting me all afternoon. I replied to all his frantic, pestering messages with a series of winking and kissing emoticons. When he got home that evening, he was so happy and excited. The sex we had that night, after all that build-up, was spectacular.”
The Thrill Of The Chase.
“Playing hard to get makes me feel more empowered because, in a sense, I get to control Eugene’s sexual excitement. It gives me such a thrill, knowing that he wants me but can’t have me yet, for whatever reason. He’s pretty much at my mercy – but in a good way. And to know that he can’t get me off his mind makes me feel super loved and sexy. It’s like dating him all over again."
“I love the fun and excitement of playing hard to get with Eugene. Most importantly, I love what this game has done for our sex life and our marriage. Of course, we still wish we had more time and energy for foreplay. But on days when I make him wait for sex, there’s practically no need for foreplay anyway because we’re both so aroused.”
What Eugene has to say...
“It drives me nuts in a good way when Karen leaves me hanging. Desiring her, but knowing that I cannot touch her right when I want to, is such a turn-on. Our sex life wasn’t exactly boring before, but it had become routine."
“We never spent much time on foreplay, and we never even flirted much. Now, the foreplay and flirting last all day when she plays hard to get with me, and this heightens the sexual anticipation.” SH
* Names have been changed.