If your kids are hooked on the Internet and their gadgets, it may be time for the family to take a tech break. Here’s how to go about it
If your kids are hooked on the Internet and their gadgets, it may be time for the family to take a tech break. Here’s how to go about it
Our Experts
DR LIM BOON LENG, psychiatrist , Dr BL Lim Centre for Psychological Wellness.
DANIEL KOH, psychologist, Insights Mind Centre.
Hooked on tech
It’s a well-known fact that overexposure to the Internet and tech devices can have negative effects on one’s concentration and focus.
Daniel Koh, a psychologist at Insights Mind Centre, adds that people who spend too much time online may also have poor social skills. “Being in this tech comfort zone makes it easy for them to switch off and lose interest in everything that’s going on outside of that environment.
“They may only communicate when necessary, and may not know how to read others’ expressions and body language. They may also have trouble expressing their emotions, and can be less caring towards others.”
Dr Lim Boon Leng, a psychiatrist at Dr BL Lim Centre for Psychological Wellness, agrees. “Social isolation is a very real problem for people who are hooked on gadgets. It’s not uncommon to see such individuals neglect their social responsibilities because they are so lost in that digital world. Youngsters who miss out on opportunities for social interaction may end up with poor social skills when they’re older.”
Family conflict and a sense of disconnect
According to a study conducted by Kaspersky Lab and Iconkids & Youth, the Internet causes problems not just for the one immersed in technology, but also between that individual and his or family members.
The study, which was published in July 2016 and involved 3,780 families in the US, the UK, France, Italy, Russia, Spain and Germany, revealed that about 20 per cent of parents and children felt that the Internet can be the cause of family arguments.
Among the parents surveyed, 64 per cent felt that they were no longer the primary contact point for their children. In fact, 23 per cent said that their children now prefer to go online rather than approach them when they have questions or want advice.
Families also tend to sacrifice quality time together when its members spend too much time online – something that Dr Lim says can also cause a strain in relationships. “Before the Internet and gadgets came into the picture, families would sit together and watch TV or just talk,” he points out. “But now, we see Mum, Dad and the kids all glued to their individual smartphones, laptops or tablet devices. Nobody talks to one another as much anymore, so we don’t know what’s going on with our kids or spouses.”
“When there’s very little face-to-face interaction, we forget how to relate to one another after a while,” Daniel adds. “We may take our family members for granted, be dismissive of their problems or just stop communicating. This can have dire consequences on our relationships and make the people we live with feel isolated and rejected.”
How to do a family digital detox
If you’re worried about your little ones becoming socially isolated or want to improve communication between everyone at home, you may want to consider giving your family a tech break. Going two or three days without the Internet or tech devices can help reduce your children’s dependency on them and open them up to new ways of spending their free time.
There’s a way to go about implementing a digital detox, however. Don’t just hide all the gadgets or disconnect the Wi-Fi and expect everyone to deal with it. The trick is to wean everybody off slowly so that they can see how enjoyable a tech-free day can be.
Here's our guide to implementing a digital detox at home with minimal fuss:
Explain your reasons for wanting a tech fast. If you want to pull this off successfully, you’ll need everyone’s cooperation and understanding, so explain your intentions and expectations to your spouse and children. Tell them why it’s important for the family to go tech-free for a day or two and what you hope to achieve after the detox is over (for example, closer relationships with one another, having new or different bonding experiences, and so on). Plan when the detox will happen and give your family ample time to emotionally prepare for it.
Set some rules. Decide how you want to go about this. A completely digital-free weekend may not be possible, so Dr Lim suggests implementing digital-free hours during the day and making certain areas of the house digital-free instead. Try this over a long weekend and see how it goes. “For example, you may wish to ban digital devices during mealtimes and one hour prior to bedtime, and make it clear that no digital devices are to be used in the bedrooms and dining room,” says Dr Lim. “Initially, you may have to disconnect the Wi-Fi and put all the gadgets aside, but once your kids get used to it and become more disciplined, simply switching off the devices will do.”
Replace tech time with other forms of family bonding. You don’t want your children to feel bored or be idle, so plan some activities for them. It’s also important to spend time together as a family, says Daniel. Take the children out to the park, enjoy quality time with your husband, or play board games or charades instead of watching TV. Encourage your children to share their stories with you, and give them your full attention while they’re talking.
Set a good example for your kids. “This means sticking to your own rules when it comes to digital-free hours or zones, and not going back on your word about spending quality time together as a family,” says Daniel. SH
LOW-TECH CELEBRITY PARENTS
These famous personalities limit how much screen time their kids get to enjoy.
Steve Jobs When the Apple iPad first hit the shelves in early 2010, the late Apple founder told a journalist at The New York Times that his children – the youngest of whom was 12 at the time – had never used the iPad before. “We limit how much technology our kids use at home,” he was quoted as saying.
Kate Winslet While the 41-yearold Titanic star says that there is a lot to be learnt online, she admits that she doesn’t allow her children, aged 16, 13 and three, to have tech devices. “Actually, my children’s knowledge of computers because of IT classes is much more sophisticated than mine. But do [they] have devices? No, they don’t,” she said. “I think we have to always be a little careful because they still have to live a life and they still have to climb trees and break their knees and get muddy. That’s important.”
Jennifer Lopez The American megastar only allows her eightyear-old twins, Max and Emme, to use iPads once a week, on “Sunday Funday”. “It’s something I made up so they could work towards it,” she said in a 2015 interview with Female First magazine. “All they want to do is be on these devices all the time. They get to play with it as much as they want that day.”
