Whether you’ve dropped 5kg or 50kg, you may still struggle with what you see in the mirror. Really, you have a lot to be proud of – you’ve done the hard part! Now, your mindset just needs some minor adjustments. Here, experts offer their best advice.
Whether you’ve dropped 5kg or 50kg, you may still struggle with what you see in the mirror. Really, you have a lot to be proud of – you’ve done the hard part! Now, your mindset just needs some minor adjustments. Here, experts offer their best advice.
MIRROR STRUGGLE You’ve dropped at least a full size in clothes, but why doesn’t your size 8 fit you the way your friend’s size 8 fits her?
MINDSET ADJUSTMENT It’s these body comparisons and not appreciating your unique shape that are consistently linked to body dissatisfaction, says Jo Gilmartin, a lecturer in health and psychology at the School of Healthcare in the University of Leeds in England, who’s studied attitudes after weight loss.
To be happy, it’s important to stop viewing others as the benchmark. The best way to flip your thinking is to look for victory instead of defeat, says Jo Ann Valle, a clinical social worker in England. This means giving yourself credit for every triumph. Write out a list of all the things that have improved. Are you eating healthier? Do you have more energy? And you have gone down a size.
Celebrate every change because it’s easy to forget the struggle it took to get there, Jo Ann says. Revisit this list and add to it as often as possible. Never underestimate the power of a scissor snip, either: If size 8s look great, but you’re bereft they’re not 6s – just cut the size tag off !
MIRROR STRUGGLE The weight is gone, but your new smaller body still has the same general shape as your old body. For instance, your legs are thinner but you had your heart set on a thigh gap!
MINDSET ADJUSTMENT If only we dropped kilos a la carte – skinnier legs, thinner waist.... “It’s tough to accept genetic predispositions,” Jo Ann says. Even if, intellectually, you knew that your arms wouldn’t magically get longer as they got leaner, emotionally, you’d imagined it – and now you’re kind of crushed.
Remember, though, that everyone – probably even Kate Upton – has a feature she doesn’t love. So focus on the body part you do love and play it up, says Jo Ann who suggests treating yourself to some new clothes.
And, again, keep a list of how your life has gotten better. Staying positive is especially key around the 12kg milestone to protect yourself from that “once a pear shape, always a pear shape” mentality slipping into the “why even bother?” trap, and gaining the weight back.
MIRROR STRUGGLE You love the benefi ts of no longer being so big – but it’s hard to look beyond the sagging skin you have now.
MINDSET ADJUSTMENT Women who’ve lost the most often feel like they have the least to be happy about. Loose skin is such a mental hurdle for formerly large people that “it triggers huge dissatisfaction with appearance,” Jo says – and those feelings of ugliness can then spiral to depression and isolation.
To combat this, Jo Ann, who’s lost 36kg herself, recommends bolstering yourself with a mantra – like “this skin is proof of how far I’ve come” – and extending its power with an anchor, like a piece of jewellery or a small stone that you touch when you feel those twinges of disappointment.
In a recent study of formerly obese people published in the Journal of Clinical Nursing, Jo also found that joining an online community or support group of others who’ve lost a lot of weight, and are familiar with the way it can mess with your head, can encourage you out of a funk.
