As the saying goes, it didn’t happen if it’s not on Instagram. But before you put up pics of your new boyfriend, answer these questions first.
These days, the standard way to announce that you’re attached is by posting a loved-up picture of bae on Instagram—with a couple of heart-eyes emojis as a caption.
But before you do that, you’ll need to be sure your relationship is ready to go IG-official. After all, you don’t want to tell the world about him, only to have him exit the relationship faster than you can say, “Bye, Felicia.”
Violet Lim, CEO and Co-Founder of Lunch Actually Group, shares the five questions to ask yourself before making the big announcement.
Is there mutual trust?
There may be mutual feelings, but is he trustworthy? If he hasn’t been honest with you or is pretty closed off about his personal life, you shouldn’t rush into taking the relationship to the next level. “If your partner can’t make you feel secure, how can your family and friends be ‘convinced’?” asks Violet.
Do you see yourself with him for the long-term?
With the “data” you have based on the time spent with him, do you feel that he’s someone you can spend the rest of your life with? If you have some doubts, hold off on broadcasting your relationship.
While you don’t have to be thinking about marriage so early in the relationship, he should be someone you can see yourself with for a long time if you’re going to introduce him to your friends.
Also, if certain things about him bother you, either learn to accept those qualities or consider ending the relationship—don’t assume he’ll change.
Do the both of you share similar life goals?
Friends and family will probably have a couple of questions about your future together once you publicise the relationship. While it isn’t necessary to have a detailed five-year-plan, it’s a good idea to know the common goals the both of you are working towards.
“When the both of you have established that you’re on the same page about where the relationship is heading, you’ll be able to answer those questions easily, without any confusion or potential misunderstanding.”
Do you respect each other?
Respecting your partner means being proud of him for his achievements and understanding that he has a valid point of view.
For example, money can be a sensitive topic in relationships, and being jealous of your partner’s income is a bad sign. “If you don’t respect your partner, it’s unlikely that the relationship will last,” warns Violet.
Would you be OK with introducing him to your parents?
Relax, this is just a thought experiment. If the idea of taking him to meet your parents makes you nervous, you should ask yourself why. Is it because you feel excited about giving your parents the impression that you may have found the one? Or because there are some things about him that may make your folks uncomfortable? If it’s the latter, you may want to hold off on announcing the relationship.
“IF YOU DON’T RESPECT YOUR PARTNER, IT’S UNLIKELY THAT THE RELATIONSHIP WILL LAST.”
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