What increases twice a year, peaks a little on a Monday and flattens out as year-end approaches? The likelihood that your relationship will end… according to Facebook. With the aim to predict our break-up patterns, data journalist David McCandless plotted over 10,000 statuses that included the words “break-up” or “broken-up”. Given the oversharing nature of social media (“Toby and I are over.”), we’re guessing hunting down the PDB (public displays of break-ups) wasn’t the hardest part, but rather working out why the “It’s complicated” talks happen when they do (Mondays in March, BTW). Having experienced our share of breakups, Team CLEO is skilled in relationship fails. We’ve taken David’s data and drawn our own conclusions.
Early February is two weeks before that day everyone hangs out in pairs, which might make people more likely to stay in a relationship that’s past its use-by date. The spike on the actual day has to be lack of loving… or a bad gift.
Not only is it Spring break, it’s also the month where we celebrate our coveted CLEO Eligible Bachelors. We’re guessing this is why David’s data reflects a big spike in break-ups. Parties mean cute guys. And cute guys is plural. You do the math.
April Fool’s Day
“I cheated on you. April Fool’s! LOL” If anyone pulled this on us, we would probably end things then and there. Which might have happened here… Unless everyone’s faking it? Our brains hurt.
We’ve hit July now, which means only six months left to do all those things you said you’d do last NYE (read: after four vinos). Making mini mid-year resolution isn’t uncommon, often resulting in a sudden desire to rearrange your whole bedroom, get a pixie cut and book a trip to everywhere (without him). Oops.
This start of the week is bad enough, what with the whole work/school/doing-allthe- chores-you-were-gonnado- on-Sunday-but-didn’t sitch. But this is the most common day to end it. Our theories? A post-girls’ night wake-up or emotional hangover caused by a weekend of bickering.
Two Weeks Before Christmas
David’s study proves the fortnight before Christmas as the most popular time for couples to call it quits. This has to be more than not wanting to get them a gift. Perhaps it’s the stress of whose place to head to and the feels that this time of year tend to bring up. Either way, it’s got to suck. That, and the questions you’ll get asked by relatives... URGH!
Breaking up with someone on December 25 is like hating on cheese, Ryan Gosling and puppies: it’s just plain wrong. Luckily, according to David, it doesn’t happen much. And if it does? Look at it like a gift – this is a realisation he’s not the best guy.