Smartphone vibrators? Talking sex dolls? It’s not the stuff of a Hollywood sci-fi, but a glimpse at the not-too-distant future of your bedroom antics.
Smartphone vibrators? Talking sex dolls? It’s not the stuff of a Hollywood sci-fi, but a glimpse at the not-too-distant future of your bedroom antics.
Back in our parents’ day, the only bit of technology that got them together was a landline. Today, technology and orgasms are intertwined as intimately as legs in a missionary stance: you meet via an app, send sexts as foreplay, incorporate vibrators into the main act, and don’t just use Skype to talk about your day. But sex tech as we know it is about to undergo a facelift that’ll make the above-mentioned methods look as old-hat as MySpace. Think teledildonics, internet-enabled vibrators that can be activated by someone else in a remote location, and sex toys for people to input distinctive patterns that can be be personally coded (yes, really).
In the next 20 years, futurologists predict the sex tech market will be three times bigger than it is today. In fact, by the time you’re in your 40s, you’ll most likely be having sex wearing a virtual reality (VR) headset... which means that fantasy about opening our eyes and seeing Magic Mike above us is pretty achievable. Here’s more of what you can look forward to.
Solo-together sex
Until now, being in a long- distance relationship meant a love life that was as chaste as an 18th century nun’s. But these days, the physical sensation of sex can literally be felt however far apart you are.
Amsterdam-based sex tech innovators Kiiroo has made devices specifically for long-distance couples: you have a vibrator called the Pearl, he has a male masturbator called Onyx, and you see each other via a secure video-chat programme. But here’s the clever bit: as you move the Pearl, sensors transmit the same motion data to the matched Onyx, so you’re basically doing it together. This is known as teledildonic technology – sex aids that work alongside the Internet.
ETA: AVAILABLE NOW
Smart toys Pink or purple?
With terrifying veiny bits or without? That used to be the extent of personalising your solo pleasure. But companies are now realising that vaginas aren’t one-size-fits-all, and that the pleasure source doesn’t even need to be uniformly shaped.
The Crescendo, for example, is a moldable toy that can bend into any shape you want, whether your inspiration is a boomerang, U-bend or a classic shaft. It also includes six independent pulse points that allow custom settings for fully personalised good vibrations. Hmmm...
ETA: AVAILABLE NOW
The new phone sex
Remember phone sex? When people used to actually call each other – as if that wasn’t scary enough – and talked dirty to each other? The new take involves less talking, ’cause that’s #oldschool.
The tagline for Izivibe is the “world’s most simple vibrator, you just need a phone”. Indeed, Izivibe is a simple phone case with an innocent-looking appendage at the top – imagine a hairbrush handle – but the naughty part is that it uses your phone’s vibration function to get you excited. The app includes a volume control function so that it doesn’t sound like a swarm of bees invaded your room, and also a “Connect” function that lets you hook up (in both senses of the word) with your man remotely.
ETA: LAUNCHING SOON
Programmable dreams
Now that VR headsets are about to go mainstream, the next big thing on the horizon are VR contact lenses. Whether they’re controlled by eye movement, blinking or brow muscle twitches, the theory is that the VR tech will blur the boundaries between the virtual world and reality. Wear them to sleep, however, and the possibilities are even more mindblowing. “They could be connected to a computer that detects when you are in a dream state, and then injects images of video to enhance your dream,” suggests Dr Ian Pearson, author of the Future of Sex report.
ETA: 2035
Sex robots
You’ve seen imaginary versions of them in the movie Ex Machina, but science fiction sexbots could actually be a reality one day. The big name pushing to make this come true is Matt McMullen, the creator of RealDolls, one of which was Ryan Gosling’s inanimate co-star in Lars and the Real Girl.
The inventor is said to be currently working on new prototypes of the life-sized dolls that incorporate animatronics and artificial intelligence. These advances are limited and costly, though; a doll with eyes that can blink, and open and close its mouth, is projected to go on sale for $13,200, while his next project, a fully moving body, is likely to set interested parties back $78,000.
ETA: 2050 AND BEYOND
