FIND YOUR SPARKLE

Is a lack of confidence holding you back in the office? These tips will help you shine – at work and at play!

Portrait of Tammy Strobel

Is a lack of confidence holding you back in the office? These tips will help you shine – at work and at play!

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Here’s the deal: While women account for over half of today’s workforce, we still assume only approximately 10.2 per cent of directors on Asia Pacific boards, according to people and organisational advisory Korn Ferry and the National University of Singapore Business School’s Centre for Governance, Institutions and Organisations.

It’s said that a major contributor to such underrepresentation in leadership roles is a woman’s lack of confidence. Well, isn’t it time we take the reins and became the stars of our own lives so we can perform at our best and have the performance reviews to prove it? Whatever the situation in the boardroom or the break room, here’s how you can overcome your nerves and let your inner sparkle come through.

It’s All In The Mind.

“Instead of dwelling on your perceived flaws, think about your good qualities,” says psychologist Anjula Mutanda. “What do you like about yourself? Pick just one physical and one personal quality you’ve been complimented on and focus on it. This tricks your brain into operating more positively. Practise this repeatedly and it will become a habit.”

Strong, confident body language can also lend you a more sparkling presence. “Stand up straight, raise your gaze, and make eye contact,” says Anjula. “As soon as you alter your body language to be more assertive, this improves your mood, making you look more confident.”

Where you position yourself in relation to others can also help you to feel your best. “Try gravitating to the middle of a group, rather than sticking to the edges. A central position makes it easier for people to notice and interact with you,” she says.

Communica te Confidently.

Most people feel nervous when attending a social function alone. “Don’t make it about you, make it about other people,” says life coach Mandy Lehto. “The best way to be the most interesting person in the room is to be interested in others.”

If you get nervous, try this breathing trick to find your Zen. “Remember, your breath is the easiest route to calmness – breathe in through your nose for four counts, hold it for a couple of seconds, then exhale for four counts through your mouth,” she suggests.

Still at a loss for words? Anjula believes that imagining you are confident will help you to be confident. “The only difference between a socially confident person and an anxious one is the story they tell themselves before they enter a room. So, take control of your thoughts, decide you’ll be able to communicate confidently and you will,” she says.

Don’t Just Listen, Be Heard.

Your opinions matter. If you find people often talk over you or dismiss your ideas, here is how to make yourself heard using a combination of verbal and non-verbal cues. “Use pauses between sentences to force yourself to speak slowly and clearly,” says Anjula.

If your voice still feels lost, it’s likely people are not used to listening to you, so you’ll need to teach them to treat you differently. “Use the pronoun ‘I’ as this draws attention to your opinion,” she continues. “In addition, try using more assertive language, such as, ‘I’d like you to listen to me because this is how I feel’.”

When all is said and done, don’t waste time worrying about the past or fretting over the future. Instead, focus on what’s happening now, advises Mandy.

“You have one time to live and that’s in the present. When you’re at a meeting, practise mindfulness techniques, which will help you exist in the moment instead of worrying about what needs to be done tomorrow,” she says. “Being mindful will also help you focus and connect to others more easily.” W

Confidence-Boosting Tips From Real Women.

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Karen Leong

Director of Influence Solutions and Author of Win People Over: 75 Simple and Powerful Ways to Influence Anyone.

SUPERCHARGE YOUR SELF-IMAGE

“When you meet a challenge, what question do you ask yourself first – ‘Can I do it?’ or ‘How can I do it?’ These two questions sound similar, yet have different implications. ‘Can I do it?’ questions your capability. Whereas, ‘How can I do it?’ assumes you have the capability and nixes self-doubt so that your mind can focus on different ways to achieve the task. You will be amazed at how much more confident you will naturally become.”

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Tina Altieri

Motivational Speaker and Trainer.

AC TIVATE YOUR STORYTELLING SKILLS.

“Go for great when you communicate! Whether it’s in presentations, pitches or meetings, your future boss will be judging you by how skilfully and powerfully your ideas are presented. You are guaranteed to shine in your job when you know how to make people want to listen to you, believe you and trust you – whatever role you’re in. Don’t let poor communication skills sabotage your career!”

Text: Bauersyndication.com.au / Additional Reporting: Natalya Molok / Photo: 123RF.com.