Your toddler’s behaviour may overwhelm you at times, but DR RICHARD C. WOOLFSON says it’s important to distinguish between wilful acts and typical development traits.
Your toddler’s behaviour may overwhelm you at times, but DR RICHARD C. WOOLFSON says it’s important to distinguish between wilful acts and typical development traits.
In the blink of an eye, your little one is no longer a baby but an energetic one-year-old. He can walk and talk a little, and suddenly, he seems to have a mind of his own.
He wants to explore everything and has trouble controlling his emotions, which can both delight and frustrate you. You find yourself wondering: Is he being naughty?
Well, chances are he isn’t. Here are some common things toddlers do that are perfectly normal:
He has tantrums Those outbursts of rage are dreadful to experience – the moment your toddler can’t get exactly what he wants, at the exact time he wants it, his temper explodes.
He isn’t being naughty, he just hasn’t gained control over his emotions yet. So, when his frustration breaches his tolerance threshold, he has a spontaneous and involuntary tantrum.
He doesn’t listen It is so annoying when you ask your toddler to do something – or even more annoyingly, to stop doing something – only to find that he ignores you completely.
He doesn’t do it on purpose. He is just either so engrossed in the activity that he didn’t actually hear you, or he is having so much fun he can’t bear to accede to your request.
He mouths objects You need to watch your toddler all the time because he has the terrifying habit of putting everything into his mouth, especially small nonfood items.
That is just his way of exploring. Soon, he’ll learn to discover in less hazardous ways. But for now, mouthing is his instinctive method.
He’s a fussy eater Just when you think you have discovered what he likes to eat, he suddenly becomes very picky at mealtimes and refuses to even taste what he previously enjoyed.
His tastes have just changed as he has grown. That is a natural part of development. Don’t get agitated about this, or he’ll realise fussy eating winds you up.
He touches everything He reaches for those precious ornaments in your home, and those carefully stacked shelves in the supermarket, without any thought of the consequences.
He isn’t being naughty, he is just driven by his overriding curiosity. Not thinking about possible outcomes, your toddler sees something, wants to know more, and grabs it.
He resists sleep You know that your one-year-old needs his daytime nap and his nighttime sleep, yet there are times when he resists dozing with all his energy.
He isn’t being wilful, he would just rather stay awake. Life is so exciting for him that the thought of missing out on the fun when he goes to sleep makes him extremely unhappy.
He bites others Your toddler might bite others (whoever happens to be within reach) when he is upset, angry or frustrated.
Biting is just his way of releasing tension without thinking about the consequences for the victim. He doesn’t have sufficient empathy to realise the effect his actions have. He only sees things his way.
He throws food There are few things more likely to raise your hackles than the sight of your kid throwing his dinner on the floor or tossing his food across the table.
He isn’t trying your patience, he just thinks this is great fun. Rather like playing with finger paints, or mucking around in the sand tray, food throwing is another messy activity that he enjoys.
He makes a public scene Just when it is your turn to pay at the cashier – in full view of all the other shoppers – your one-year-old makes a public spectacle because you won’t buy him that bar of chocolate he wants.
He is just oblivious to bystanders because he is consumed with his rage. His egocentricity blinds him to the presence of others.
He can’t sit still He wriggles when you read him a story, and he constantly moves around when you try to talk to him.
It’s not on purpose, his concentration is just very limited at this age and he is very easily distracted. Although the story might attract his attention for a few seconds, he is quickly drawn to other possibilities in his immediate vicinity.
He isn’t being naughty, he just hasn’t gained control over his emotions yet. So, when his frustration breaches his tolerance threshold, he has a spontaneous and involuntary tantrum.
ILLUSTRATION CHENG PUAY KOON
