Your boss just dumped a new project on you at the last minute, and before you’ve even opened your mouth, she knows exactly how you feel. For better or worse, your body has already said it all.
Your boss just dumped a new project on you at the last minute, and before you’ve even opened your mouth, she knows exactly how you feel. For better or worse, your body has already said it all.
Controlling your body language and facial expressions can be crucial to maintaining a good relationship with your superiors. It can also help you recognise what everyone else in the office is saying – even when they’ve not said anything out loud.
The worst offenders
Not all expressions are created equal, and some can stop our career dead if we’re not careful. According to Christian Chua, a motivational speaker, coach and body language expert, the worst thing you can do is outwardly show unhappiness or displeasure over any issue through what body language experts call “leaks” or “tells”.
He says the most common leaks are “a twisted smile, which is a sign of contempt; and a frown, which is a sign of unhappiness.” Other signs of displeasure include the rolling of the eyes and crossed arms.
It’s all about awareness
“Body language is the [embodiment] of emotions,” Christian says. “You can’t really control your body language without learning to control your emotions first.” They’re called “leaks” for a reason, so you’ll need to try to “not feel the way you feel”, or at the very least keep the thoughts and emotions in your head from showing up on your face or through your gestures. Want to do this? Awareness is the key.
“Being aware of your feelings allows you to be aware of your body language,” says Christian. “Consciously relaxing will dissipate the energy and prevent any involuntary body language tells.”
The look of confidence
According to Christian, the employees most likely to succeed are the ones that radiate confidence, and the best way to do that is by showing how energetic you are. This means “brisk steps, purposeful movement and good posture. Don’t slouch or fidget – these make you look nervous,” says Christian.
By moving like this, you appear cool under pressure, which means the bosses will entrust you with more responsibilities, he adds.
So how do you know when you’re in the boss’ good books? When they keep you in the loop about things, Christian says, including personal subjects like family. This shows they see you as more than just an employee, and perhaps even a friend.
Use what you know to your advantage
Once you know the tells and leaks you need to control (and get a grip on them), you’ll be able to read your coworkers’ body language and facial expressions.
What you want to look out for are gestures of deception or negative emotions. If a colleague is acting nervously about something that isn’t usually an issue (for example, a regular deadline), they might be lying about something. Signs that this is the case include fidgeting more than usual, unnecessarily touching their face, scratching their head, swaying from side to side, and walking backwards to try to make a quick exit.
“If you catch any of these, it’s a red flag,” Christian says. At this point, you need to ask yourself two questions: “What is the conversation about, and why are they nervous?” It could be anything from a theft in the office to a resignation, but at least you know you have reason to keep your guard up.
Acting the part
As much as it can be useful knowing what other people really mean when they cross their arms or walk out of a room quickly, understanding body language can also have a positive effect on your general work life. For one thing, when you’re more selfaware and keeping certain emotions in check, you’re actually making the office a more professional and conducive place to work in – and everyone can benefit from that.
So take a few breaths, square your shoulders, act with the confidence and calm you want to exude, and your bosses will notice for sure.
“The worst thing you can do is outwardly show unhappiness or displeasure over any issue through what body language experts call ‘leaks’ or ‘tells’.”
Images 123RF.com Text Finn Bailey.
