Got a Relationship Problem? Jason Godfrey, Our Man About Town, Is Here to Help.
My husband started a new job that he’s really excited about.
But it means he now works shifts, and our schedules totally clash. We sometimes go a week without seeing each other awake, and we’ve been feeling so disconnected lately.
How do we keep things alive?
Prioritise your relationship. Since you know you can’t count on having time together whenever you want, you’ll have to ease off your careers a little. Or make sure your vacation time coincides, so you can spend every second together. If that fails, you could always think about quitting your jobs and moving to a hippy commune in Costa Rica.
My boyfriend and I have been together for four years. We’ve been talking about the future, but he still hasn’t put a ring on it.
How do I get him to hurry up?
You could talk about how all your friends are getting married, how they look so pretty in their wedding dresses, how fun being married could be, and how your parents have been nagging you to tie the knot. See if that gets you anywhere. If it doesn’t work, try hinting that you don’t mind a cheap ring.
If marriage is already on his mind, talk of a cheap ring will surely get him moving.
My fiance is a really messy person. We’re getting our new place soon, and I’d hate to live the way he does. I don’t want to be overly critical, but how do I make sure I don’t end up living in a pigsty?
The only guarantees in life are death and taxes. There are no guarantees about living in a pigsty. People have different tolerance levels for mess, and that can cause conflict. For example, I hate dirty dishes and have to do them immediately, while my girl can leave them overnight. If you want peace, clean up when you absolutely have to – even if it’s his mess – and don’t resent him for it.
Obviously, you should still get him to pick up after himself, but don’t expect him to match your level of clean, because he never will.