Savouring the best in life is the key to the greater happiness: Here’s how to stop and smell the roses
According to a survey by the United Nations last year, Singapore is the happiest country in the Asia-Pacific region, and the 22nd happiest country in the world. Psychologist Fred B Bryant says we don’t automatically feel joy when good things happen to us: It’s the way we reflect on these experiences that determines how happy we are. So to practise savouring life, we need to change how we think about our life events.
Here are some changes you can apply to the way you live, celebrate and perceive your life.
Share Experiences While you may appreciate the time you spend with family and friends, it isn’t really enough just to be physically present with others.
“People who share their positive feelings with friends have higher levels of overall happiness than people who don’t,” explains Fred. This is because sharing an experience through reminiscence encourages us to savour good times, causes a spike in feel-good hormones and creates good memories.
Take a Mental Photograph Pausing during an event to focus on really seeing who is around you and taking in the details is vital to the art of savouring. Taking this time helps you build more vivid memories and pleasurable reminiscences.
In one of Fred’s studies, participants were instructed to go for a 20-minute walk each day for a week. Those who were told to look for good things to remember during their walk reported higher levels of happiness at the end of the week than those told to simply take a walk, or to consciously look for bad things.
Self-Congratulate “This style of savouring involves mentally patting yourself on the back and exalting in the pride associated with a positive outcome,” says Fred. Research from Canada and the US has found people who experience this kind of positive pride are also usually confident, agreeable and conscientious. Not only are they happier, they also see their success as a result of their efforts and not of luck. “Wishing yourself joy for personal achievements,” says Fred, “can make those experiences more rewarding.” Use Your Senses
A smell, taste, sound or sight can inspire or remind you of past pleasures. Unfortunately, we often miss this experience because we are too busy in our daily lives to notice. “In these cases, blocking out distractions can enhance savouring by sharpening your focus on the pleasure itself,” says Fred.
If you take the time to focus on one thing at a time, you will heighten your experiences.
Laugh Out Loud Expressing positive feelings can intensify them by providing your mind with physical evidence that you are, in fact, joyful, according to Fred. “In several experiments, people asked to express their feelings in observable ways while watching a funny video reported more enjoyment than people instructed not to express their feelings,” he says. “In other words, ‘putting on a happy face’ may actually help you feel more positive.”
Don’t be a Killjoy “When it comes to feeling joy,” says Fred, “it’s just as important to avoid thinking negatively as it is to think positively.” Research shows when you qualify a good experience with ‘buts’ or ‘shoulds’, you reduce the amount of time you will feel joy. So whatever moment you’re enjoying, stay focused. “Avoid temptation to think about other things you should be doing,” he says.
