Got a relationship problem? Jason Godfrey, our resident guy expert, is here to help.
Quit eating from my plate. Are you taking me out soon?
I have a crush on my brother’s best friend, but I’m getting the vibe from my bro that he doesn’t approve. How do I get around this?
Yes, clearly you should circumvent your brother’s knowledge of your crush since it’s his best friend – and just go for it! Honestly, your brother can’t stop you if your feelings are reciprocated.
That said, know that this may put your brother in a tricky spot if you and his best friend get serious. (Read: initial awkwardness). So make sure you do really like him and are not crushing on him just because he appears at every social event you are at. Proximity to someone over an extended period can sometimes give you a false impression – and people can make relationship choices they wouldn’t usually do.
So yeah, go for it and see what happens. But girl, don’t go crying to your brother if it doesn’t work out. That’s uncharted territory, and it’ll be doubly awkward for your bro and his best mate.
How do you tell if a guy likes you or is just being friendly? I may be reading the wrong signals and I don’t want to humiliate myself. Should I just ask him or wait for it to play out?
No.1: If he’s going out of his way to talk to you, he probably has thought about you in a romantic way.
No.2: If he isn’t going out of his way to talk to you, the same could also be true. ’Cause, we’re men – and he could be shy or simply observing you quietly.
No. 3: If he seems to enjoy your company and finds all kinds of reasons to talk to you, he’s possibly into you.
Now, if you’re afraid of humiliating yourself, just wait it out for a bit and see if he makes a move, while making sure you let him know that you like his company.
If he’s taking too long, you could just ask him out on a date – and remember that it’s not humiliating to take that shot, it’s more humiliating to never even try.
SENDING A VIRTUAL NOTE TO BREAK UP IS MORE ACCEPTABLE NOW, NO?
If we can work from home, spend Saturday nights sipping wine and chatting with friends over Zoom, it should be more acceptable to virtually dump a boyfriend or even inform your partner that you want a divorce, right? This question needs re-examining, especially after Circuit Breaker and lockdowns around the world have pushed us to do things virtually from home.
While it’s true that technology and a global pandemic have created more physical distancing than ever before, unfortunately for serious relationships, you’d still want to add that classy touch by breaking up in person.
But if your relationship wasn’t one that was quite meaningful, texting is the most convenient – and painless – way. If the relationship is supposed to move on to the next level, and both of you aren’t feeling it (for each other), Zoom-a-break up is godsend.
And breaking up via a handwritten note could be another way. I once got broken up with when a girl asked me to collect my sweater at her house. Okay, I got my sweater back – plus a memo saying, “Sorry, this isn’t working”. That really saved me from all the awkward conversation.
Have any questions about men and their romantically obtuse ways? E-mail Jason at magherworld@sph.com.sg, follow him on Twitter (@bigsmilenoteeth) and like his Facebook page at www.facebook.com/bigsmilenoteeth.
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