ASK JAY

My boyfriend and I are thinking of relocating overseas for a few years, but we’re unsure if we should get married first ( just to avoid gossip and the side-eye). What do you think?

Getting married to avoid gossip is an age-old reason for tying the knot. It’s also a terrible reason for making an important life decision. The interesting thing is that you’re moving overseas, to a place with people you don’t really know, and you’re worried about these strangers giving you side-eye? There’s a book you’d benefit from reading, called The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. Honestly, when it comes to decisions about marriage, love, life, or even where you’re going to eat lunch, you shouldn’t worry about what anyone else says. Get married if you and your partner are ready, not because of what anyone else will think or how much side-eye you will get. 

Since my last break-up three months ago, I’ve been single and ready to mingle. But how do I know if the next one is just a rebound? Okay, I know it’s a rebound, but how do I move past that?

Identifying a rebound is hard, because not everyone does the entire rebound thing. But typical rebounds have certain signs. When you instantly get with someone else to fill the relationship void, even though that person is terrible and all your friends know it, you know it, even your dog knows it – that is a rebound. But if you’ve waited at least three months, that’s probably enough time. Once you do get into a relationship and suspect you’re rebounding hard, moving on is easy. Just explain that your dog hates them, and move on. 

HERE’S WHAT YOU SHOULD PUT ON YOUR DATING PROFILE 

Life is full of struggles, but no struggle is as tough or important as one that many face every day. That’s right, I’m talking about the words on your dating profile.

To be sure, a string of emojis showing that you’re fun, hip, and largely incoherent is a popular choice, but maybe throwing other things in there can give you an edge.

Think of your dating profile like a pitch: You’re making a case in a few sentences for why someone should date you.

Do you write: “Since Brenda’s break-up with her deadbeat ex, she’s been dating wrong guys like a bad habit, but after each one, she grows more determined to find a guy who treats her right so she can treat him right back, and that guy might just be you.”?

Or “Brenda: Gemma Chan meets Amy Schumer but with more heart.”

Yeah, you probably don’t want to write that. First off, referring to yourself in the third person is a no-no. Then again, if you’re looking for a wacky guy, something wacky like that might work for you.

And that hits on essentially what you have to do for your dating profile: Don’t tell people you’re funny, adventurous and love Mexican food. Show them everything that makes you you in your two-sentence pitch. Is it easy? Nope. Is it better than writing “fun girl, beaches, late nights” with an eggplant emoji, winking emoji, smiley face tongue-out emoji?

Yes, it is.

Be creative, be bold, write a dating profile for a movie you’d want to see, write the profile for a person you’d want to meet. Because if your profile can convince you to meet yourself, it’ll convince others to do the same.

Hopefully. No guarantees. 

Have any questions about men and their romantically obtuse ways?

E-mail Jason at magherworld@sph.com.sg, follow him on Twitter (@bigsmilenoteeth) and like his Facebook page at www.facebook.com/bigsmilenoteeth. 

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