Shooting the breeze is hard work. Public relations maven and co-founder of Whitelabel PR, FREDA YUIN, knows how much effort it takes. She lets us in on her seven tips to have a convo with just about anybody.
Shooting the breeze is hard work. Public relations maven and co-founder of Whitelabel PR, FREDA YUIN, knows how much effort it takes. She lets us in on her seven tips to have a convo with just about anybody.
Use Facebook the right way
It helps me build an opinion, directing me to stories – both news and pop culture-related – that are going viral. I follow Mashable, Buzzfeed and BBC, and like or comment on their posts. It makes my feed more informative, as the algorithm pushes content from pages I engage with higher up on my feed. No time? Just scan the headlines. It’s enough for a conversation starter.
Awkward silences are your friend
Even if you’re prepared, it’s challenging to find common ground with a stranger. But I’m not always the first to initiate the conversation after we’ve said hello. I let the awkward silence linger, to see if the other person starts the ball rolling. It’s much easier to go from there, rather than try to find something to talk about out of nowhere.
Listen, learn, and use what you hear
Find that gap in the conversation where someone has revealed something more intimate about themselves, and be quick to use it. Here’s an example: You say how bad the weather is, and the woman you’re chatting with agrees, adding that her son’s soccer practice was cancelled because of the rain. There’s your window to turn a superficial chat into something more personal – by asking about her son, and how long he’s been playing soccer. If you run into her again at another event, it will be easy to re-enter the conversation by asking after her kid. It shows you paid attention. Brownie points.
Go deep. Really deep
I try not to limit the breadth and depth of a conversation. Take Beyonce at this year’s Grammy Awards. I could choose to focus on how amazing her outfit was, or I could discuss how Adele broke her Grammy award because she felt Beyonce was the more deserving winner for what her music had done to empower women of colour. It’s the same topic, but with two different points of view. The latter makes for a more engaging discussion.
Use your surroundings
If I’m at a company event, I’ll talk about our departments. At a cafe, I’d ask for food recommendations.
You’ll never go wrong talking about travel
The general rule: Start with safe topics, like travel. Someone who’s more open will share anecdotes about a recent trip, and it’s easy to take off from there. For someone who’s more private, stick to a more objective angle – for example, by asking if the post-Brexit climate will affect travel plans to the UK.
Know when to bow out
Read the body language – crossed arms, facing elsewhere, and a closed body posture are clues that someone doesn’t want to talk. Make a gracious exit. Pushing the conversation could create a lasting bad impression.
