Ask Jay

Got a relationship problem? JASON GODFREY, our man about town, is here to help.

We’ve been planning our wedding for two months now, and I’ve picked out a backless dress that my fiance disapproves of. He has put the wedding planning on hold until I find another dress that doesn’t show so much skin. How do I manage him?

You’re bringing sexy back! But as far as showing skin is concerned, tell him the back is a fairly innocuous region – nothing R-rated there, just an area of skin that is smooth and well hydrated. If that doesn’t sway him, let him know that you are going backless for him and want to look amazing for him on your wedding day. Hopefully, that will get your back a well-deserved day in the sun.

My husband is addicted to porn and rarely touches me anymore. It really bothers me but I’m not sure what to do.

Porno, that double-edged sword. This is becoming a very real problem among younger guys, who are growing up on a diet of online porn that covers any fetish you could possibly think of. While fun in measured doses, excessive porn affects a guy’s sexual expectations and may dampen his ability to experience sexual satisfaction in real life. Have a talk with your husband – tell him your sex life is suffering and it would help your relationship if he could cut back on porn. 

My husband and I are living with his family until we get our own flat. I know his parents disapprove of me and they’re always very rude to me when he’s not around. How do I tell him I want to move out now?

Rig up hidden security cameras to catch the in-laws mistreating you, then air the footage and declare that you’re moving out. Okay, that’s actually what not to do. Your husband may be sensitive about his family, so even if he complains about them, he may be offended when you do the same, even if you have a case. So, step up your plans to move out. Tell your husband you want to start your life with him pronto and you don’t need a dream flat to do it. No one would choose to stay with the in-laws for an extended period, so your request is not unreasonable.

For a week now, I’ve been lunching with a male colleague at my new company. My boyfriend isn’t thrilled and wants me to stop talking to him. How do I convince him there’s nothing going on with my colleague?

I understand why your man would be jealous. Guys don’t understand the concept of other guys hanging out with their girlfriends or wives because when they did that, they only wanted one thing. We also hate an unknown entity, which is what your colleague is. What you could do is arrange an “impromptu” meeting between them. A simple “Hi Carl, this is my boyfriend Darryl” will do. This lets your colleague put a face to your boyfriend, who will in turn know who he’s dealing with. And hopefully, he will be less resistant to you eating chicken rice with good ol’ Carl.

Have more questions about men and their romantically obtuse ways? E-mail Jason at magherworld@sph.com.sg, follow him on Twitter (@bigsmilenoteeth) and like his Facebook page at www.facebook.com/ bigsmilenoteeth.

MAIN PHOTO SHOWBIT.COM / PHOTO OF JASON TAN WEI TE / ART DIRECTION ALICE CHUA / STYLING VIOLET FOO / HAIR ASHLOI, USING SEBASTIAN PROFESSIONAL / MAKEUP KEITH BRYANT LEE / OUTFIT HUGO BOSS.