A male sexpert finally answers the question...
A male sexpert finally answers the question...
What’s “normal” anyway?
One of the buzzwords right now is “metrics”. It’s like the Key Performance Indicators that were once just a part of the business world but have now seeped into, well, everything else. So it’s hardly surprising that you want to know the exact number of times to have sex a week to be considered “normal”. But “normal” does not exist – it’s a statistical phallus-y.
The truth is, it’s more a spectrum than a number, and at the end of the day, it’s more about dealing with where you see yourself on the scale of “way too little”, “way too much”, “would like a bit more” and “less would be OK”.
We’re having less sex...
Newsflash: while sex is great, life can get in the way. As can the era you’re born in. According to research published in 2016 in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, millennials are having sex less than Gen Xers and Baby Boomers. Jean Twenge, the lead researcher of the study, suggests this is due to a variety of factors, from a culture centred on career status to the rise of online dating that generally focuses on a person’s public persona.
No biggie. The problem only arises when one partner is satisfied and the other isn’t. If you’re both cool with how much sex you’re having, you’re all good. There’s no “minimum amount” you should have to live up to. And no, it doesn’t necessarily mean your relationship is dying or anything that dramatic.
Feeling out of sync
But if your sex drives don’t quite match up, it can get frustrating. Of couse this alone is no reason for either of you to justify ending the relationship or sleeping around. While it’s always good to nudge yourself out of a rut and rediscover your sexual connection, it’s important to remember it’s not your duty or responsibility to give him more of it; or vice versa. Sex does not equate to love.
Too much of a good thing
Sex is an important part of any relationship. In fact, it’s often both the spark and kindling. However, all that burns will eventually turn to embers that need stoking, and anyone who tells you otherwise is lying, trying to disguise a lack in their union, or both.
An overabundance of sex in a relationship is pretty much par for the course in the early days and then, tapers off. If you can sustain it, we applaud you. But if you’re measuring the entire worth of your relationship by the fact that you’re still getting busy four times a week, you’re kidding yourself.
Images 123RF.com Text David Smiedt.
