ASK JAY

Got a relationship problem? JASON GODFREY, our man about town, is here to help.

"I dislike Internet dating or anything contrived when it comes to meeting people, but I don’t know how else to meet guys! How do I let a man know I like him when I’m at a bar or at a gallery without looking stupid?"

A recent study found that university students, who had grown up on their mobile phones, were worse at reading body language and facial cues when communicating face-to-face. No joke. We’re becoming alienated from those around us. So your question is completely understandable. Remember, most women don’t want to look too eager, so leave the guys to walk over and start the conversation. All you have to do is make eye contact – frequently – and follow it with a smile. If he’s interested, he should make the first move.

"Though he claims they “don’t often talk anymore”, my fiance has invited his ex-girlfriend to our wedding! He claims they’re part of the same university clique, and therefore he’s obliged to invite her. Is this just an excuse?"

An excuse to invite his ex-girlfriend to his wedding? Because guys typically love having their exes at important life events? No. I think you should take his word on this one. Most guys aren’t looking for excuses to hang out with their exes, in fact most guys avoid them like Ebola. Yes, the Ebola. So don’t sweat the ex, and enjoy your wedding.

"I can’t stop stalking my boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend on Facebook and Instagram. I’m always comparing us based on what she’s wearing or how funny her comments are. It’s like self-abuse! Am I crazy?"

Remember that lousy movie, The Da Vinci Code? (Sorry if you liked it – it was still lousy.) Remember the albino monk (played by Paul Bettany) who performed self-flagellation with a tree branch? Well, that’s what you’re doing to yourself figuratively through social media. Comparing yourself based on how funny her comments are? Stop! Comparing your fashion sense? Just stop! Simple as that.

"My husband of two years has a new job which requires him to travel. We’re finding it really hard to speak every day, and he’s too tired on weekends for us to spend quality time together. How can we make this work?"

Adjusting to a new job – with insane travel schedules or otherwise – is always a challenge in a relationship. Rather than stressing about talking every day, just go with it. Enjoy your independence and leave him to get on with his work. Then when you are both in the same country, maybe you’ll spend more time together. Trying to speak every  day while on a business trip is stressful and makes the heart grow resentful. Go with the “absence-makes-the-heart-grow-fonder” route.

Have more questions about men and their romantically obtuse ways? E-mail Jason at magherworld@sph.com.sg, follow him on Twitter (@bigsmilenoteeth) and like his Facebook page at www.facebook.com/bigsmilenoteeth.