Got a relationship problem? JASON GODFREY, our man about town, is here to help.
"Got a relationship problem? JASON GODFREY, our man about town, is here to help."
I’m getting married in a month’s time and I just discovered that my fiance has been cheating on me with one of his female friends. He apologised and said he still wants to get married, but I’m afraid that history will repeat itself. What should I do?
Well, that is a startling thing to find out about your fiance. You have to figure out if he was cheating because of some unbridled lust or attraction for this friend, or if he’s a guy who’s going to cheat whenever he can. Either way, nothing exonerates his behaviour. Ultimately, you have to decide what you’re willing to live with, and if he’s a good enough guy to overlook this mistake. Man, things are supposed to get this complicated only after marriage.
I have a four-year-old daughter from my first marriage and want another child. My second husband says he does not want a kid yet, but does not mind discussing this “a couple of years later”. Should I push the issue? I’m already 35.
I think it’s imperative to push the issue a little. I would wait a bit – maybe not two years, but enough time for him to digest the matter before bringing it up again. When you do, remind him about your biological clock and that having a child with him is an expression of your love. The ultimate expression. Maybe that will get him a little more excited about fatherhood.
It does sound like your boyfriend is being taken advantage of, but should you say something to his friends? ABSOLUTELY NOT. They’re his friends, and they might be crappy ones, but they’re his friends. He has to figure out how to deal on his own. But if they continue to treat him like an ATM, point that out to him – it might make him rethink who his real friends are.
Your friend “has a beef” with your husband? What is this, 1995? Is your friend Tupac Shakur and your hubby, Biggie? Honestly, beef shouldn’t exist between friends and husbands. At this point, she has to respect your decision to be with him, and that means backing off telling you that he’s no good. Remind her that being good friends means supporting one another, even if you don’t agree 100 percent with each other’s choices. Also, remind her that beef should be restricted to the butcher’s shop.
Have more questions about men and their romantically obtuse ways? E-mail Jason at magherworld@sph.com.sg, follow him on Twitter (@bigsmilenoteeth) and like his Facebook page at www.facebook.com/bigsmilenoteeth.
