TOPLESS SEDUCTION

ON THE ROAD AGAIN

Pressing on past the urbanism of the region’s first city, Faro, the traffic melts away. On and on the road unrolls, up and up the miles mount, thinner and thinner the traffic becomes. Here on the N124 that snakes through hills and dales and small farming settlements, the gleaming parade of sports cars is replaced by a smattering of smoky diesel-powered hatchbacks.

Some graciously pull over to let me pass; the Bimmer’s magnificent setup makes short work of dispatching the recalcitrant others. On the rare short stretches of straights, where lesser cars would have to suck it up, the brawny 4.4-litre V8 motor and paddle-shifting eight-cog gearbox effortlessly bring the M850i up to overtaking speed.

The massive 19-inch M-Sport brakes then nonchalantly shrugs off excess velocity – no mean feat, with this beast weighing the wrong side of two tonnes. And the four wheel drive, rear-axle steering and bespoke Bridgestone mixed-sized rubbers carry the car confidently through the corner.

There is that niggling habit of the nose pushing just a bit too wide at the very edge of the car’s limits – admittedly, an area where the intrepid (or some say, foolish) few would explore. I later learn that it was a deliberate design choice – understeer being easier to handle than oversteer – that would be engineered out in the hardcore M8 version arriving later this year.

The M850i otherwise behaves like an eager puppy, and the V8’s sonorous soundtrack of rumbles and howls, appended by the cracks and sizzles from the exhaust, serves only to egg me on. 

The M850I behaves like an eager puppy, and the V8’s sonorous soundtrack serves only to egg me on. 

A passing shower necessitates the raising of the soft-top – it takes just a swift quarter of a minute to perform the task, even while the car is moving up to 50kmh. And despite the swop of roof material from metal to cloth, noise levels are startlingly indistinguishable from the coupe’s. The chassis, too, remains effectively as stiff as its sibling’s, despite the scalpel having been liberally applied. 

And since we are making comparisons with the coupe, yes, you do lose 100 litres of boot space (down from 450 litres) and the seat back at the rear, where in practice nobody but small children really sit. As conventional wisdom goes, convertibles are all about compromises, but not quite this one. 

WHAT’S IN A NAME?

There is just that one fault, which the convertible shares with the coupe, that continues to bug me: the nameplate and the expectations that go with it.

The number “8” has always been attached to the most storied models in BMW’s history. Such as the legendary E31 8 Series back in the 1990s, with the era’s de rigueur pop-up headlights, that featured in posters adorning many a teenager’s bedroom wall – including this one’s.

Or the short-lived but no less lust-worthy Z8 roadster. And more recently, the i8 plug-in hybrid supercar, a technology tour de force. All of these cars are virtually bespoke.

The problem then, with the new 8-series is that it just does not feel as special as its forebears, whether in terms of the styling or the interior – both of which are very well executed, mind you, and feature the best of what BMW has to offer. But the cars’ resemblance to models lower down in the range – and the recently discontinued 6-series coupe and convertible and, soon, the four-door Gran Coupe that the 8-series had for all intents and purposes replaced – is simply too close for comfort for such a haloed epithet.

At the launch of the series, BMW contended that it now reserves the appellation for its most sporty models. And I suspect most people would not have a similar hangup as this. In any case, the badge has nothing material to do with the car, which works superbly as a grand tourer, as a boulevard cruiser and as a sports car, regardless of its moniker.

At the lunch stop and turn-around point near the Spanish border, I am again faced with the same route options, but in reverse. Despite the lure of some of the emptiest, smoothest expressways on this continent, the choice is clear. After all, I have hatchbacks to hunt. I head back the same way I came, cracking, rumbling, howling and sizzling away. 

By special order only. Performance Munich Autos, 315 Alexandra Road. www.bmw.com.sg 

THREE FEATURES TO WATCH

In the BMW M850i xDrive convertible. 

HEADLIGHTS 

The slimmest of any BMW model, the slender front lamps accentuate the car’s low-slung, menacing mien. But it is not all show and no go: They come with optional Laserlight that illuminates the road ahead variably to avoid glare, up to an astonishing range of 600m. 

GEAR KNOB 

For some visual bling, glass can be applied to a number of controls in the car, including the transmission selector lever, through which an illuminated “8” can be seen. The material also offers the benefit of a more tactile feel – important when you need to adjust something while keeping your eyes on the road. 

INSTRUMENT PANEL 

The “Live Cockpit” is a fully digital high-resolution instrument cluster that runs on BMW’s latest operating system. While we feel that the reverse-sweep tachometer is style over substance, the new OS brings along improvements such as a customisable tile-based interface for the control display. 

TEXT LOW KA WEI PHOTOGRAPHY DANIEL KRAUS FOR BMW