Your little one may just be reserved by nature. Give her time to overcome her shyness, advises DR RICHARD C. WOOLFSON.
Age by stage 1 year
Your little one may just be reserved by nature. Give her time to overcome her shyness, advises DR RICHARD C. WOOLFSON.
Christmas is just round the corner, and you are worried. Your shy toddler is uncomfortable having to mingle with guests at parties, so she usually glues herself to your leg and refuses to respond to even the kindest show of interest. Here are some dos and don’ts to help her enjoy the festivities.
Do share your thoughts with her
Let her know that you care about her and that you want to help her overcome her shyness. Reassure her that you understand how she feels and that you will help her feel better about speaking to others.Explain in simple terms that you sometimes worry about going to a party even when you know everybody there. When she sees that you are taking a special interest in her, it helps boost her confidence.
Do use persuasion, not coercion
Don’t push your one-year-old towards others. Taking her forcefully by the hand and dragging towards her aunts and uncles can cause her to become even more determined to resist. When coaxing her, use an approach that is calm but firm.
Do try to change her shyness gradually
Since you know she is shy in social situations, build her selfesteem by arranging play dates at home with little cousins whom she already knows well. That’s a lot easier for her to manage than a room full of relatives she hasn’t seen in months. Such successes will make her feel good about herself, and she is likely to cope better in future.
Don’t pander to her shyness
Stop her from toddling away from someone who tries to engage her in conversation, and don’t let her play alone in the room. In other words: don’t let her take the easy way out. Avoiding social challenges means she won’t learn to deal with them. She needs as many opportunities as possible to strengthen her social skills.
Don’t assume she is distressed
Consider that her behaviour might simply be her way to seek for attention, and she has learnt this is an effective way to ensure everyone makes a fuss of her. So rather than coaxing her to be more sociable, try ignoring her, at least for a few minutes anyway. She might eventually wander over to play with some guests.
Don’t spring a surprise gathering on her
Her instinctive reaction is to back away from others. She’ll respond much better with advance notice that her aunts and uncles will visit this afternoon.
Don’t let her take the easy way out. Avoiding social challenges means she won’t learn to deal with them.
