Father’s Day is on its way, so we asked three handsome husbands to spill the beans on what they love (and hate!) about being on permanent daddy duty.
THE FUNNY DAD
SHANE MARDJUKI, 38, FLY ENTERTAINMENT ARTISTE, WITH ELLIE BEE, FOUR, AND OSCAR BEAR, ONE
There’s nothing better than a dad with perfect comedic timing; thanks to the skills he’s picked up as a stage and screen thespian, life’s definitely a barrel of laughs where Shane Mardjuki is concerned. And he can count at least two fans who will never tire of his repertoire of jokes: His playful four-year-old, Ellie Bee, and angelic oneyearold Oscar.
“Most of the time, being a father is really cool and fulfilling, and some of the time, it feels like you’re treading water and you’re going to drown at any moment. It’s really a mix between the two; one day it’s this, and one day it’s that, but oftentimes you’ll go through both on the same day,” shares Shane.
“When it’s especially close to bedtime, that drowning feeling becomes pretty strong, but the rest of the day is usually great fun.”
While playing Dad to two little ones with very different personalities can be stranger than fiction, for Shane, it’s the role of a lifetime.
“I think on a primal, basic level, there’s this hormonal release that makes me love these two people more than anything else in the world, and that’s not a feeling that you can get from anything else. I’ve never loved anything as much as I’ve loved these guys.”
But as any father will confess, not only is becoming a parent a rude awakening, becoming a good parent is one of the most difficult things most of us will ever do.
“In the initial period, realising that your time isn’t your time anymore is hard to deal with. There’s this break-in period that every parent will go through. There was a time when you used to do whatever you wanted to do but after having children, it’s really not about you anymore, it becomes about them,” explains Shane.
“Once that adjustment period is over, it gets better, but the lack of sleep, oh dear god, the lack of sleep. That’s the really, really tough part!”
Jokes about sleep aside, even the most dedicated parent needs a break from time to time. Shane is the first to admit he is amongst the 14 per cent of fathers worldwide surveyed by Zagat, who just want to be left completely alone on Father’s Day.
THE HUNKY DAD
ZHENG GEPING, 52, MEDIACORP ARTISTE, WITH TAY YING, 22, AND CALVERT, 18
When the cameras aren’t rolling, Zheng Geping is as normal as they get on the celebrity scale. This is despite having more than 70,000 Instagram followers who have bestowed the moniker “huncle” (a combination of the words “hunky” and “uncle”) upon him due to his enviable physique.
Married to actress Hong Huifang, the pair is blessed with two children, Tay Ying and Calvert, whom Geping has fawned over since birth.
“When I got the news that I was going to be a father, my life changed. I automatically felt more mature because of the sense of responsibility that comes with being a parent. My children have given me a sense of fulfilment, and have definitely made me a better person,” reveals Geping.
As Calvert and Tay Ying prepare to launch their own careers in show business, they know not to expect their veteran actor father to give them a leg up. He’s a firm believer that his children need to carve out their own paths in the industry. “I don’t believe in spoon feeding them. Whatever challenges they come across, they must tackle them head-on by themselves because the more mistakes they make, the more they will learn,” he says. “That said, I don’t believe in being the type of parent who says ‘no’ all the time either.
“My own dad was someone who ruled over the family with an iron fist, but I wanted to build an open line of communication with my kids from early on. I wanted them to feel like they could come and talk to me and we could discuss problems and come up with solutions together, instead of me barking orders at them.”
It’s a parenting tactic that has worked in his favour, as both children have expressed delight at the way their father has raised them. Calvert says, “He’s a very chill dad who doesn’t complain about hardship. Whatever trials come his way, he will persevere and work through them.” His sister Tay Ying adds, “He emits such positive energy which is great for our family dynamics because you always need that one person who will lift the others up no matter what.”
SHAN WEARS SWEATER FROM IN GOOD COMPANY, AND JEANS FROM H&M. CIARAN AND RUAN WEAR OUTFITS FROM IN GOOD COMPANY.
THE DASHING DAD
SHAN WEE, 36, KISS92 FM DJ, WITH CIARAN, FIVE, AND RUAN, THREE
We’ve come to know him for his smart wit, quick quips on the airwaves and writing skills, but to his two children, Shan Wee is just “Dad”, and a super one too!
“I have the luxury of being a very hands-on father because of my work hours. I helm the 4 to 8 pm weekday timeslot on Kiss92, so I spend most of the morning with the two boys and I’ve found that as they’ve got older, they just get nicer,” shares Shan, who is a parenting columnist for The Straits Times, and author of the book 99 Rules For New Dads.
While the parent-child relationship is one of the most special ones, it is natural that the dynamics between them will evolve over time – a phenomenon Shan himself has witnessed firsthand.
“Sometimes I say that my favourite time with my two boys is when they play by themselves. For so many years our boys were quite clingy; they always needed Dad to be with them or to play with them,” he explains.
“So when I see them being able to play by themselves or with each other, I consider it a progression. Plus, to see siblings get along well is the true pleasure of being a parent.”
The radio deejay also says his two sons have very different personalities, and have gone through their own significant changes over time.
“A year ago, I would’ve been talking about how my older one is quite difficult and my younger one is the sweetheart, but they go through different phases. In certain situations, Ciaran is more obedient and Ruan becomes the troublemaker, but it swings back and forth,” he shares.
“I suppose it keeps you rewarded because sometimes you think, if both these kids were consistently terrible, you’d be like, ‘that’s it, I’m done, I’m checking out’, but you’ll always find some good in them.”
Personalities aside, he confesses he still doesn’t see very much of himself in his children. “I’m not your laugh-aminute, chuckle brother, you know?,” he shares honestly.
“My general nature is quite quiet and sombre. As a child I was very calm and docile, whereas Ciaran and Ruan are pretty charged up.”
This Father’s Day, Shan doesn’t have anything concrete planned out with his family, but wants to remind people that parenting takes two. “I feel like dads get a lot of undue privilege. If I’m carrying my kid through the supermarket, when they’re little babies, then people will notice that and say ‘Aww… what a good dad’, whereas they wouldn’t say ‘Aww… what a good mum’. So, I still think fathers get more credit than is due.”
