Feel the heartache and happiness of this pregnant mum as she shares her in vitro fertilisation story with us. By Jo Upcrraft
Feel the heartache and happiness of this pregnant mum as she shares her in vitro fertilisation story with us. By Jo Upcrraft
“I pray every night as the needle goes in.”
Maya*, my five-year-old, is asking questions again and it’s breaking my heart. Tugging at my skirt and staring up at me with her big eyes, she asks: “Mummy, why don’t I have a baby brother or sister?”
She’s been asking me that a lot lately, and every time, I can hardly look at her. “Because the time is not right yet, darling,” I say, while trying to keep the tears back and hoping to distract her with toys or questions about school.
Maya was conceived naturally. She has no idea that last August, I was pregnant after my first round of in vitro fertilisation (IVF), and had a miscarriage eight weeks later.
Hubby Vincent* and I talked about trying IVF again today. It costs thousands of dollars per cycle. But at 40, he didn’t want to be an older father to a newborn, and while I’m 34, I’m aware of the complications that being an older mum can bring.
Things were different when we had Maya. We were both younger and unaware that getting pregnant could be so problematic. It was not until my first trimester wih Maya that we found out that I carry the Fragile X Chromosome – an extremely rare genetic syndrome that causes developmental problems, learning disabilities, cognitive impairment and autism in children.
While Maya was born unaffected, there are strong possibilities that other children we conceive would not be so fortunate and healthy.
I don’t want Maya to grow up as an only child. I want her to have someone she can grow up with, and laugh, cry and look after when her dad and I are gone.
So Vincent and I went for an appointment today to start our second round of IVF treatment. “Are you okay?” he kept asking while gripping my hand and looking at me nervously.
“Of course!” I’d replied. And I was. I was excited and full of hope.
As I’d had IVF treatment last year, I didn’t need to repeat the blood tests, ultrasound scans and laparoscopy to check my fallopian tubes. Nor did I have to repeat the six months of oral contraceptive pills many women need to regulate their periods before treatment can begin.
Instead, my journey will start with injections for the next 10 days to over-stimulate my ovaries so more eggs can be released.
While checking my records from the previous round of IVF, Dr Chung, who was treating me, noted that we had two ‘slowgrowing’ embryos frozen then. He tells us: “It will take a few weeks but we can monitor these embryos and see if we can progress them successfully at the same time.”
Of course, Vincent and I want as much chance as possible, so we agree.
It’s evening now, and I’m standing in my bathroom, staring into the mirror and willing myself to be strong. “We’re doing this together. You know that, right?” Vincent keeps repeating while hugging me tight. He feels so bad that I’m having to physically go through this.
Gripped in my right hand for me to do the first injection right into my ovaries – about 6cm below and to the sides of my belly button – is the pen injector with the folliclestimulating hormone (FSH) that promotes the formation of ova.
Having been through this before, I know how it works. The only difference is I chose to go to the fertility centre for the shots before.
I’m only four days into my 10 daily injections and my stomach has a dull ache. I alternate the sides that I inject each evening. Thankfully, I feel only a quick, little pinch. It’s totally tolerable.
Each day, I feel more empowered and determined for this to work. I don’t dread the process. I simply look at Maya and let the love I feel for her as well as the reason we’re doing this take over.
For an extraction to take place, I need to induce the growth of nine to 10 follicles to become eggs. I pray every night as the needle goes in. It takes only a second and Vincent sometimes sits with me for comfort, talking about the future.
I’ve also been going to the fertility centre for ultrasound scans every three days to check that everything is going well, and that I’m not over-stimulating the follicles. I feel looked after and supported.
I head to Orchard Road today as a distraction but I can’t ignore the stress of thinking about whether the injections are working or not. I keep telling myself not to worry.
According to the Ministry of Health, 6,044 IVF cycles were carried out in Singapore in 2015.
We’re getting closer! I went to the centre this morning for a human chrionic gonadotropin (HCG) injection. This is done 36 hours before egg extraction to trigger the final maturation of the eggs.
My 10 days of injections are complete! The egg extraction via a fine needle inserted into my vagina happened today at 1pm. Vincent came with me. It was a little uncomfortable, but I wasn’t scared. I concentrated on praying for success and the happiness a new baby would bring to our little family.
The eggs were taken to the lab to be mixed with Vincent’s fresh sperm sample and undergo three days of tests to see how many embryos without the Fragile X chromosome would form.
“We will also test the two embryos from your first round of IVF that we’ve been cultivating,” Dr Chung told us. The more, the better!
I rested for three hours at the fertility centre with Vincent stroking my forehead when he wasn’t pacing back and forth. We now have a five-day wait to discover whether I can return to be implanted with a healthy embryo.
I’m lying on the sofa at home with painful cramps, which is one of the side effects of the extraction. In between bouts of TV and Maya, Vincent keeps pouring me water, while I also fill up on protein, and avoid sugar and spices. This is to prepare my body for the implantation.
The centre calls to explain that the lab is still conducting a biopsy for the Fragile X chromosome on each healthy embryo.
I watched Maya playing in the park today. She is such a beautiful, happy and loving child. I started to well up as I watched her playing alone though. She makes a wish for a sibling every time one of her eyelashes falls out.
I can’t believe what has happened. None of the new embryos were deemed healthy enough to continue the IVF cycle. However, one of the slow-growing embryos from my first round of IVF has been successful! Vincent and I cry with utter shock and joy.
We return to the centre for the implantation. It’s quick (only 10 minutes) and painless, and involves using a small catheter guided by an abdominal ultrasound. Although we both feel like celebrating, we know we still have a very long way to go – starting with the two-week wait to see whether the implantation has worked and I am pregnant.
“Act like you are pregnant,” the nurse advised. I breathed out, watched my stomach expand, and told it to act accordingly.
I was at the swimming pool when I received the phone call. “I have extraordinary news for you,” Dr Chung said. “Your IVF treatment has been a remarkable success and you are pregnant!” All I could say was “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” as I sat on my bed, hugging my belly and thanking the universe for working with us.
When I phoned Vincent with the news, we cried, laughed and then were silent with disbelief – our dreams had come true.
I am never fully present. There’s the thrill of the pregnancy at the back of my mind, and then the looming results of the blood test keep coming up. I feel well and healthy though, and I can’t help but believe this strong little embryo is going to be our miracle.
The blood test has given us the all-clear from any foreseeable problems, including Down syndrome.
What’s more, it’s also been able to determine the sex of the baby – a little girl! We are over the moon at the thought of Maya having a sister.
We do an official ultrasound today, and are utterly overwhelmed at seeing the beginnings of our little girl. I leave clutching the photograph in my hand, wanting to show it to anyone who passes by.
I am 12 weeks pregnant today, so the first thing we do is tell Maya about the baby.
“You’re not really having a baby, Mummy, it’s just lots of food in your belly!” she says, commenting on the extra 4kg I’ve put on.
We show her the baby’s scan and video of the heartbeat. “You’re going to have a little sister
This weekend, we announced our pregnancy to our families, who were ecstatic. We told everyone that we were 13 weeks pregnant but didn’t mention IVF because we didn’t think it was necessary. Now we have to let nature take its course.
I met my best friend this morning. She is the only one who knows about the IVF treatment and asks whether I would go through the process again. Despite the potential complications and emotions, I would.
You have to be patient and persistent, as you may need more than one round, like I did. There are needles and scans and medication, and if you have a supportive partner you can remain optimistic and determined together.
I cannot wait to meet my new daughter on Nov 23. Vincent and I are already discussing names. The thought of a new addition to our family, a playmate for Maya, and a whole fresh start is often too much to take in.
As to whether or not we will tell our daughter that she is an IVF baby, we don’t know yet. We will live each day as it comes, wishing both our girls to be healthy, happy and that we can provide them with all they want in life. We have been blessed. SH
*Names have been changed.
HOW IVF WORKS
Dr Loh Seong Feei, medical director at Thomson Fertility Centre, breaks it down for us.
1 Your doctor will check if you have these conditions and address them before IVF can begin: abnormally high or low body mass index, uncontrolled medical conditions (such as diabetes or thyroid conditions), genital infections, and abnormalities in the uterus or ovaries, like polyps, fibroids or cysts). Sometimes, you may be given oral contraceptive pills to stabilise your cycles.
2 The first IVF visit must be scheduled between day two and three of the menstrual cycle. You’ll need daily injections of the follicle-stimulating hormone to stimulate the growth of 10 to 20 eggs. Using a pen injector means you’ll be able to self-inject rather than visit the fertility centre daily.
3 Once an appropriate number of eggs is achieved, an injection is administered 36 hours prior to egg retrieval to trigger the final maturation of the eggs.
4 Egg extraction is a 20-minute procedure performed under a mild anaesthetic. The eggs are then combined with your husband’s sperm in a laboratory.
5 Embryo transfer can happen after successfully fertilised eggs have been cultured for three days. The best two or three embryos are transferred into your womb via a small catheter that’s guided by an abdominal ultrasound in a five-minute procedure. Suitable extra embryos are frozen for future use and poor quality embryos are discarded.
6 For two weeks, various hormones – usually in the form of vaginal capsules and oral medication – are administered to keep the womb stable. Once a pregnancy is confirmed, you’ll continue with hormonal support for 12 weeks.
