Is attachment parenting right for you? Here’s what you should know about this popular child-centred approach, says DR RICHARD C. WOOLFSON.
ILLUSTRATION CHENG PUAY KOON
Is attachment parenting right for you? Here’s what you should know about this popular child-centred approach, says DR RICHARD C. WOOLFSON.
When it comes to raising kids, most parents rely on advice from trusted sources, coupled with their existing knowledge and experiences.
However, some prefer to follow the principles of “attachment parenting”. While it’s not new – researchers have been studying it for decades – it has become an increasingly popular approach.
Attachment parenting is based on the recognition that a close bond is the most important influence on a child’s development.
Its eight fundamental principles are:
Preparation for parenthood You should make informed choices about pregnancy care, childbirth choices and parenting styles.
According to advocates, the best start is childbirth that does not use interventions.
Breastfeeding A mother’s milk is the best source of nutrition for an infant. In addition, the frequent close physical contact means Baby will always be in your warm arms and, so, helps build a loving relationship.
Timely responses You should pay attention to your baby’s needs and respond accordingly. By doing so, you’re modelling respect and care for her.
Nurturing touch Touch remains important throughout her childhood. Massage, hugs, hand-holding and cuddling result in a happier and calmer child. You should also “wear” your infant in a sling or carrier.
Keeping close during bedtime You should share a room or bed (taking all necessary safety precautions for the latter). This way, you remain responsive to your infant even during sleep.
Consistency One main person – ideally, a parent – should care for your little one. If both you and Hubby work outside of home, she should be cared for by a consistent and responsive caregiver.
Positive discipline You should teach by example and use positive discipline techniques such as substitution, distraction and problemsolving.
You should encourage your kid to develop her own sense of moral responsibility.
Balance You should find a balance between your parenting role and your personal life. This gives you the energy and motivation to maintain a healthy relationship with your baby.
But critics have voiced out that this child-centred approach may create unnecessary pressure on parents. Their concerns are:
Lack of scientific evidence
Studies aren’t able to prove that children raised with attachment parenting have different emotional and psychological outcomes from those who were not.
More than one way to build a relationship Most kids have a close bond with their family, and therefore there is no need to follow such an intensive parenting style.
Sleep-training methods can be very effective There is plenty of research evidence that “cry-it-out” methods can have positive outcomes for parents and babies. There is no need to instantly respond to your kid’s every whimper throughout the night.
Many parents cannot breastfeed Some mumswant to breastfeed but simply can’t, for a range of reasons.
There is absolutely no evidence that formula-fed babies are more likely to become insecure and fussy than those who were breastfed.
Baby-wearing is not a must Bonding can occur with and without babywearing.
You build a positive relationship with your baby by being responsive and sensitive to her needs.
Ultimately, you have to decide what type of parent you want to be. Never follow advice or strategies that you are not entirely comfortable with.
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