Your friend thinks that your toddler’s #ootd is not age-appropriate, but you wonder what the fuss is all about. DR RICHARD C. WOOLFSON weighs in on the matter.
Your friend thinks that your toddler’s #ootd is not age-appropriate, but you wonder what the fuss is all about. DR RICHARD C. WOOLFSON weighs in on the matter.
One of the delights of parenthood is dressing up your child. You are always thrilled when you hear comments about how pretty she looks in her #ootd (outfit of the day). Then your friend bursts your bubble by pointing out that some of those clothes are not appropriate for your twoyear- old. They show too much skin and are, well, skimpy. Your friend warns you that your toddler will grow up to be vain. Of course, dressing her in an adult-style sexy outfit once or twice is not going to cause any psychological effect. Yet your friend’s comments are certainly worth further consideration. Genuine sexual feelings and behaviour don’t start until the onset of puberty, which, on average, is 11 years for girls and 12 years for boys. But a young child could be affected long before then – mainly by what she sees and hears around her, as well as her parents’ attitude. If that’s how you dress her up on most days, then there is a psychological risk that she will eventually think this is the best way to enhance her appearance. And before you know it, she won’t want to wear T-shirts, pants and skirts like other children her age. Instead, she’ll demand to be in cropped tees that show off her midriff, short skirts that end well above her knees, and garish accessories – not because she understands sexuality, but because that has become her concept of “attractiveness”. Bear in mind that your toddler’s self-image isn’t only influenced by her own opinion; it is also shaped by the reactions she gets. So if she regularly receives compliments about how cute she looks in that style of outfit, she is likely to value it even more.
Fashion forward
Plus, most kids always want to be like an older child. For instance, a two-year-old would imitate a four-year-old; a fouryear- old looks up to a sevenyear- old, and so on. (Although this usually stops at the end of the teenage years, and by the time middle age is reached, the tendency works in the opposite direction!) As a result, your toddler is delighted to be in a tube top because she sees adults dress that way, and she wants to be like them. Many parents feel that kids need to be protected from sexualisation, from influences such as advertising, movies, and social media, especially before puberty. For example, the current phenomenon of sexting (sending explicit sexual “selfies” to a friend by text) is already a huge concern for parents of children as young as eight or nine years old in some countries. If you want to avoid this potential danger of early sexualisation – even if you think your friend’s accusation that your toddler looks “slutty” in those clothes is ridiculous – think carefully about your own attitude and parenting behaviour. You may decide that wearing adult-style sexy clothes occasionally can’t possibly do your two-yearold any harm. Or, like most parents, you may decide to let her remain a child for as long as she needs, and dress her in age-appropriate clothing.
