You’re exhausted with your toddler, but there’s still so much to do at home. Get your husband to help, urges DR RICHARD C. WOOLFSON.
You’re exhausted with your toddler, but there’s still so much to do at home. Get your husband to help, urges DR RICHARD C. WOOLFSON.
You are fed up. Your husband doesn’t think he needs to chip in with household chores such as ironing clothes, washing dishes and cleaning windows. He assumes this is your domain (read: responsibility), so he leaves it all up to you.
You don’t have domestic help, and you’re already exhausted with Baby. To get your husband to play his part, it’s important to get his support to tackle those necessary but tedious tasks at home. Learn how you can speak your mind – tactfully.
What you want to say to him “When did we agree you’d slob around all day doing nothing while you watch me do everything to keep this house clean?”
Say this instead “We both have day jobs. Your job is to go out to your office and be successful there. Mine is to nurture our baby at home and to look after her as best as I can. But I feel we should share the other stuff that needs to be done at other times, like cleaning the house, buying food, and putting clothes in the washing machine. Don’t you agree?”
What you want to say to him “What makes you think I am better or more capable than you in washing dishes after a meal? I find it just as tiring.”
Say this instead “I noticed that the dishes you washed last week were sparklingly clean. You are really good at that, whereas I never seem to be able to get them looking so shiny. It would make sense if you did the dishes more often, while I do something else, like tidying up. That way, we’ll both finish chores more quickly and achieve better results.”
What you want to say to him “I am shattered at this point in the day, but you expect me to clear up after you while you do nothing.”
Say this instead “I’m not feeling good right now. Baby has been screaming all day, and I’m very worried about her. I’ve not had a moment to myself. I’d really appreciate if you would iron some of our clothes tonight. You don’t have to do the whole lot, just as much as you can.”
What you want to say to him “My pal’s husband is so good to her and helps her so much. But you do nothing around the house. It drives me mad.”
Say this instead “My pal was bragging today about how wonderful her husband is because he does this and that around the house. So I said to her I am proud of you, too, because you are always ready do domestic chores whenever I ask. Could you take the garbage outside?”
What you want to say to him “You expect your clothes to be perfectly ironed and ready the exact moment you want to wear them. Then you should iron them yourself for once.”
Say this instead “I think Baby is our top priority, and she deserves every second of my energy and attention. I know you feel the same way, as well. I’m about to feed, bathe and change her right now. I’ve left the ironing board and iron out for you, so you can press your shirts ready for tomorrow.”
“I’d really appreciate if you would iron some of our clothes tonight. You don’t have to do the whole lot, just as much as you can.”
ILLUSTRATION CHENG PUAY KOON
