The consistency of a routine gives you and your tot a sense of well-being and confidence, says DR RICHARD C. WOOLFSON.
Age by stage 1 year
The consistency of a routine gives you and your tot a sense of well-being and confidence, says DR RICHARD C. WOOLFSON.
A reasonably predictable schedule matters to everyone in your family. Knowing that some events occur regularly can make your one-year-old feel more secure – and the going easier for you. For instance, consider establishing a bedtime routine if he often wakes up through the night and demands to be fed.
There will be many occasions when your baby tries to break his usual routine. For instance, he explodes with rage because you tell him it is time for bed, and that you won’t read him another story. Or, he erupts because he is allowed only one glass of juice in the morning, not two. But stick with your schedule, whether or not your toddler is happy with them. Remind yourself that you have established them for good reasons.
Should you bend the rules?
You may be tempted to give in when he tries to break your family routines, if only to calm him down. If you do, your little one will learn that when you say: “We’re sticking with our routine”, you really mean: “I’ll change our routine if you have a tantrum.” T
his encourages him to be even more challenging in the future. There are, however, times when routines at home should be flexible. For instance, you might allow him to stay up later than usual if you have visitors, or you might let him watch more television than usual as a special treat. This teaches him flexibility so he adapts to change as well as to structure.
Don’t try to avoid temper tantrums by having no routine at all. This strategy avoids confrontations, but it doesn’t help your growing toddler learn to cope with structure in his life. It also means you must be on the lookout for potential crises in order to avoid them.
Here’s why we do this
He is more likely to enjoy the security and comfort of routines in his life when he understands the purpose behind them. So, explain them to him. For instance, it’s better to tell him: “I’m not going to read you another story now because you are tired and I am tired, and we both need our rest”, than to say: “You’re not getting another story now because I say so”.
Likewise, you can help him adjust to routines by reminding him of the next step. For instance, when you are out shopping in the afternoon, tell him: “I bet you can’t wait to get home, so that you can play in a lovely warm bath.” It encourages him to anticipate what’s coming next, and to look on it positively.
When you anticipate a break in routine, warn your child in advance. You won’t always know ahead of time – for instance, his friend suddenly falls ill and their play date has to be cancelled – but if there are changes, let him know as soon as possible.
Your toddler is more likely to enjoy the security and comfort of routines in his life when he understands the purpose behind them.
