Your preschooler misses his former teacher so much that he doesn’t want to go to school anymore. Whatever you do, don’t let him stay at home, DR RICHARD C. WOOLFSON cautions.
Your preschooler misses his former teacher so much that he doesn’t want to go to school anymore. Whatever you do, don’t let him stay at home, DR RICHARD C. WOOLFSON cautions.
Just when you thought things were coming along nicely at preschool, your three-year-old’s favourite teacher takes up a job somewhere else. Your child is badly affected – he says that he doesn’t want to go to school anymore and he complains that the new teacher, Miss A, doesn’t like him. Like many children this age, he finds change hard to deal with. Fortunately, there are many things you can do to help him cope. The first step is to encourage a positive attitude towards the new teacher. Reassure Junior that Miss A really does like him and that they just need time to get to know each other better. Chances are, if you ask your kid to give you examples of why he thinks Miss A dislikes him, he wouldn’t be able to give you an account of any specific incident. Explain that you think Miss A is great because she provides such exciting activities for the children, and that you are sure your child will soon adjust to her. Your positive attitude towards this change will eventually rub off on your little one.
You’ll be fine
In addition, take Junior to school, whether he wants to or not. By all means, acknowledge his moans and show sympathy – but take him anyway, all the time reassuring him that he will be fine. If you allow him to stay away even for a day, you’ll have a much harder job getting him to return the next time. So, maintain his attendance throughout this period, even though he feels miserable. If possible, emphasise the similarities between the two teachers. For example, talk to him about how both teachers are good at art activities or, perhaps, that they both sing with the children. Point out things that haven’t changed in his class, so he can see there is more continuity than he previously thought. Remind him that all his friends are still there, as are all the toys, games’ equipment and other play facilities, and that he still knows the rest of the staff, too. This will encourage him to focus on what is the same rather than what has changed, and will give him a feeling of security.
Did you have fun?
Similarly, when you pick him up at the end of the day, ask him about all the fun things he did. Don’t question him about the teacher, and don’t ask about how they got on together. Instead, chat about the games he played, about the children he mixed with and the activities he enjoyed most that day. Of course, let him complain about the new teacher if he wants to, but try to avoid that topic of conversation. Lastly, consider having a confidential discussion with Miss A about your kid’s unsettledness. Explain that he is upset by the recent change in staff and ask her to keep an eye on him. Maybe she could have an informal chat with him every few days for a minute or two, to check that he is enjoying himself. That form of special attention will help to strengthen their relationship. Working with the new teacher, coupled with your own input at home, should ease your child’s adjustment to the recent change within a few weeks, ensuring he gets over this temporary upset as quickly as possible.
