Your kid may want to show off all the cool toys he received for Christmas, but it’s important that he doesn’t become a braggart, DR RICHARD C. WOOLFSON cautions.
Age by stage 5-6 years
Your kid may want to show off all the cool toys he received for Christmas, but it’s important that he doesn’t become a braggart, DR RICHARD C. WOOLFSON cautions.
Now that Christmas is over, your child can’t stop boasting about the hot toys he received during the holiday. While you are glad that he is delighted with his gifts, you wish he would be a bit more humble.
Don’t judge him too harshly, however, because he could be banging on about his toys for many reasons, including these:
∞ He’s proud of the fact he received so many presents and he wants to show them to everyone. He is pleased with himself and wants everyone to know about it.
∞ He feels insecure and uses his gifts as an opportunity to boost his self-confidence by forcing other kids to say how great he is to have received so many wonderful gifts.
∞ He is insensitive to his pals’ feelings. Some children think only of themselves, and may not consider that others have less.
∞ He craves attention Sometimes, a child brags like this because of his emotional need for excessive attention, possibly because he feels he cannot get enough attention any other way.
Teach humility
Consider all these and other possible explanations for your preschooler’s behaviour, and try to uncover reasons other than that he lacks humility.
However, if you conclude that his post-Christmas bragging is due to his insensitivity, self-importance, and lack of humility, then the next stage is to talk to your child about his excessive bragging.
But don’t criticise him. Instead, sit him down and tell him that you realise he spends a lot of time telling his pals about all the fantastic toys and present he received for Christmas – he may not be aware of this, so your comments could come as a total surprise.
Observe his reaction, whether it is denial or tears. Once you have established what you mean by giving him a couple of examples, ask him what he enjoys about making himself noticed like this.
Then point out that he could just as easily speak to his pals about his hot new toys in a way that doesn’t come across as showing off . For instance, he could wait for a natural break in their game before he starts telling them about his Christmas gifts – it doesn’t have to be the first thing he mentions the moment they meet!
Add that it’s better for him to wait for positive comments from his friends spontaneously than to draw praise and admiration from them by bragging.
Advise him about the potentially negative effects of this behaviour – for example, his pals may feel sad that their toys are not as good, or that they didn’t get the presents they wanted. Through consideration of others, he’ll begin to understand the importance of humility.
However, don’t overdo it or he may end up feeling thoroughly miserable about himself. You have to strike a balance. Your kindergartener won’t be pleased at the thought that his friends might be upset by his behaviour, or that they not want to play with him if he continues like that.
Remind him that he is a lovely child and that he doesn’t need to boast all the time in order for children to think highly of him. Finally, suggest that he gives a couple of his old toys away (or maybe even a couple of his Christmas gifts) to a charity for children who didn’t have such a wonderful Christmas as he did – this can be a very eff ective practical strategy for developing Junior’s sensitivity and humility.
Point out that he could talk about his new toys in a way that doesn’t come across as showing off. He could wait for a natural break in their game – it doesn’t have to be the first thing he mentions.
