It’s time you introduce these all-important social skills to your toddler. DR RICHARD C. WOOLFSON shares how.
It’s time you introduce these all-important social skills to your toddler. DR RICHARD C. WOOLFSON shares how.
Every one-year-old is different, with her own unique personalities, abilities and characteristics. However, here are 10 social skills that your toddler should start to grasp at this age:
Taking turns during play
Your little one needs to learn that she can’t always be the first. There are others playing the game and they take turns, too.
Sharing possessions
Children get on better with each other when they are able to share their toys and snacks, without complaining. Sharing is a crucial social skill.
Being sensitive to other people
She gradually develops a sense that other people have feelings as well, and that they can get upset, just like her.
Saying “please” and “thank you”
Most one-year-olds are able to learn these very basic rules of politeness, even though they will need encouragement to use them.
Holding a fork for eating
Good table manners have a direct effect on the willingness of others to sit with her. Certainly, using cutlery rather than her fingers is a good start.
Listening to someone else
Once she begins to listen whenever someone talks to her, rather than turning away or interrupting, she’ll be more popular.
Asking, not snatching
The typical toddler instinctively takes what she wants without asking. It would be much better if she asked for permission.
Saying “sorry” appropriately
Learning to apologise – and to mean it – is a vital social skill, because it makes others feel she is trustworthy.
Being gentle with others
Young children get nervous when one of their peers plays in a rough-and-tumble style. A gentle approach allows everyone to have more fun.
Use words, not fists
No child wants to play with one who starts hitting whenever she doesn’t get her own way. It’s far better to express her feelings with words.
Here are some strategies to teach your tot those all-important social skills:
Explain clearly
Each time you introduce a social skill, explain exactly what you want her to do – don’t assume she knows this already. And tell her why it is important, for example: “People will like you more when you say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’”, or “Your friends won’t want to play with you if you hit them.” Point out that learning these social skills benefits her, as well as others.
Model social skills yourself
Your growing child copies much of your behaviour because she loves you and wants to be like you. That’s why it is crucial that you set a good example. Let her see that you are polite to others, that you listen to her when she speaks to you, and that you always ask before taking something. The more she sees you do so, the more likely she is to behave like that.
Practise these skills at home
You don’t have to wait till she mixes with others before discussing a particular social skill – you can practise it with her at home. For example, encourage her politeness whenever you give her something, and remind her to share her toys with her older brother. This builds up her confidence so she is more sociable when she mixes with other kids.
Praise and encourage
Whenever she displays one of those key social skills, give her lots of positive attention. Let her know that you are delighted with her behaviour and give her a big cuddle. She’ll respond immediately to this reinforcement.
That’s better than simply reprimanding her every time she acts in a way that you disapprove of.
