Becoming a mother for the second time involves some unlearning and relearning, says DR RICHARD C. WOOLSON.
Becoming a mother for the second time involves some unlearning and relearning, says DR RICHARD C. WOOLSON.
Congratulations on your second child! Since you’ve been there and done that, you are naturally brimming with confidence, right? If only it were that straightforward!
Every baby is different and has his or her temperament and characteristics, so be prepared that your second child will bring you a whole new experience altogether.
Here are 10 things you should never take for granted.
“I already know everything I need to know about parenting." Even though you have discovered a great deal through parenting your first child, know that there’s still plenty to learn.
“What worked with my first child will work with my second one, too.” You will be surprised how different two kids from the same family can be. Your first baby might have been soothed to sleep with gentle rocking, whereas your second could need much more than that before she stops crying and nods off.
“Bringing up two kids is double the trouble.” It doesn’t have to be. Many basic childcare tasks can be extended to include two children easily. Make the most of your time and effort – for example, you can take both to the park or prepare meals for them together.
“The kids will be best friends.” You will want to encourage them to play together and to get along, but much depends on your children’s personalities, interests and abilities. Nothing is guaranteed.
“They will be jealous of each other.” Sibling rivalry is inevitable to some extent, but you can help to prevent these feelings. Make each child feel special by giving him or her personal attention and time.
“Both children will share the same interests.” It would be very convenient if, say, both wanted to learn to play the same musical instrument. That would save you so much time. Chances are, however, that their own preferences will show through very early on.
“They will develop at the same pace during childhood.” Your first child might have walked on her own at 11 months, while your second may do so only at 15 months. The progress of each child depends on his or her own characteristics.
Running after two kids can be tiring, but you will soon learn to manage your energy and your time.
“Hubby and I will never get any time on our own now.” Caring for two young children can be demanding, but the both of you should still spend time together by yourselves. So get the grandparents or a trusted friend to babysit them occasionally. It’s worth the effort.
“I will always be exhausted.” Running after two young kids can be tiring, but you’ll soon learn to manage your energy and your time. Try to take them to the childcare centre together, or get them to go to bed at the same time.
“Having two children means I can’t go back to work.” If you are returning to work, childcare is important. Plan and organise carefully especially since childcare for two kids can be more complicated and expensive. Know that it can be achieved.
