Got a relationship problem? Jason Godfrey, our man about town, is here to help.
Photography Tan Wei Te art direction Alice Chua styling Violet Foo hair Ashloi, using sebastian professional makeup Keith Bryant lee shirt & sweater Christian Dior main photo getty images
My man has suggested we watch a naughty film during sex. Is he dissatisfied with our private life? And what happens if he starts making comparisons with what’s on screen?
Watching porn while having sex should be fun, a way to spice things up and bring you closer. However, you should never feel pressured into anything, and only partake if you’re comfortable. Discuss his proposition further, and talk about the things you’d like to watch that would turn you on… and turn you off . Your apprehension over being compared to what’s on screen is justifiable, but any mature adult should understand that what you see is not “real life”. Also, your fears could be the same as his, so be sure to pick a film with a ripped male performer(!).
My fiance and I have been together for three years, during which time I’ve kissed a few guys while drunk. Should I admit all?
You shouldn’t be honest. You were drunk, and I’m assuming that kissing weird dudes in bars isn’t your general habitual behaviour. They are stupid things that happened, and as you have no more feelings for these guys, telling your partner only serves you, by making you feel better about being honest. Admitting all will certainly make him question your commitment. Just having this past on your conscience will be punishment enough, so ensure these episodes never happen again, and move forward together.
I have a lot of male buddies, and my new boyfriend forbids me to hang out with them because he believes these men and I have a history. Now he wants to “curate” any guy friend I have. Is he too much?
He does sound like he suffers possessiveness problems. A guy who “forbids” you to hang out with your friends when you’ve only just got together displays all signs that his insecurities could develop. Of course, any man in a new relationship will feel threatened on some level by a woman who hangs out with lots of male friends, but who “forbids” someone to do something? Reassure him about how much he means to you, but explain that for the relationship to work, he should demonstrate trust and maturity. If he doesn’t like this, I’d consider forbidding him to see you again.
Work for my boyfriend is so hectic that we only meet once a fortnight. And he hardly responds to my texts, not even when I say “Good morning”. Should we just call it quits?
You can only meet your boyfriend once every two weeks, and he hardly responds to your texts? I mean, you could call it quits if you had a boyfriend, but it seems that you have more of a strange friend who shows up sometimes, then drops off the face of the planet. You could end it and hardly notice a change in your day-today life. The question to ask is: Is your boyfriend’s schedule going to change? If not, talk about how you can make your relationship work, and decide if an absentee boyfriend is better than one who is actually around.
Have more questions about men and their romantically obtuse ways? E-mail Jason at email@example.com, follow him on Twitter (@bigsmilenoteeth) and like his Facebook page at www.facebook.com/bigsmilenoteeth.