Busy, time-strapped, or always on the go? Here are some fast and easy intimacy boosters to spice things up with your man.
According to dating and relationship coach Cindy Leong of Relationship Studio, men’s top five relationship needs are sex, companionship, an attractive spouse, domestic support, and appreciation. Outside of bed, try these strategies to stay close even when you’re crazy busy, or apart.
1. Drop him a quick call after he’s had a long day
If you can’t be there for your man in person, give him a call when he’s done with work – especially if he’s had a rough day, suggests Sarah Lee, a teacher who’s in a three-year relationship. “He’ll feel very supported and cared for.”
2. Send him things that’ll interest him
The next time you see an item that reminds you of him – a jersey from his favourite football club, for example, take a photo and send it to him, suggests Cindy. Her pro tip: Buy the item and surprise him with it during your next meetup. “He’ll feel special that you remembered what he likes and even went the extra mile to get it for him.” It doesn’t have to be actual items – the little things matter too. It can be as simple as texting him a joke he’ll find funny, or forwarding a flier for an event you can both go to.
3. Have food delivered to him
The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. It doesn’t have to be with a homecooked meal because, let’s face it, there’s rarely enough time for that. Account manager Eunice Chan reckons: “A good wife is not one who cooks but one who prepares.” Once, when her husband was on his way home from clocking overtime, she called McDelivery and had the order arrive just as he was done showering. The result? A very pleased and satisfied husband.
4 Send him the occasional selfie as a surprise perk-me-up
Give your man a visual treat by sending him a selfie – cute, glamorous or cheeky, you decide. “Besides the usual selfies, try full-body shots of yourself in the mirror... especially if you’re in a sexy dress or in the dressing room!” says Cindy.
5. Use a relationship app
Take it from Guoyi Wu, a public servant, who uses relationship app Lovebyte with her boyfriend of two years. Aside from the reminders of important dates like anniversaries and the messaging function, Guoyi’s favourite feature of the app is its wish list, which she and her boyfriend use to jot down date ideas. The app allows you and your partner to view each other’s personal lists, as well as your shared wish list. Once you’ve fulfilled something on your lists, check it off on the app. This ensures you’ll never run out of interesting, enjoyable things to do together, and that there’s always something to look forward to.
6. Indulge his whims and fancies once in a while
Although it’s good to give each other space to enjoy your own hobbies, it can be fun to join him too. Marketing executive Madeline Teo says: “My husband loves playing video games, but I don’t, and I usually sit out. But whenever I join him for a game, I can tell he’s happy that I’m spending time with him on something he enjoys.”
7. Let him decide, and let him know you appreciate it
While it’s great that your man susses out your preferences for date night, Cindy suggests: “Allow him to take the lead and trust the decisions he makes.” Try this for a day, and let him know that you appreciate his thoughtfulness and effort by complimenting his choices. Even if his suggestions aren’t quite your cup of tea, by being game, you will help your man feel valued because his opinions matter to you. And who knows, you might have a great time too.
8. Show him how thankful you are to have him in your life
“Appreciation is one of the top five needs of men,” says Cindy. A simple text message to encourage him or acknowledge his actions is a good way to express your regard for him. If you and your man don’t mind some PDA, why not thank him on social media? Write a message on his Facebook wall or post a photo of him on Instagram to let the world know how sweet he is. He might not show it, but he’ll be chuffed that you did.
9. Drop him random “I can’t wait to see you later” texts
“A man has to feel needed in a relationship without you being needy. When you use such words in your texts, it stimulates his instinct to be there and care for you,” says Cindy.
10. Give him a surprise “I miss you” visit
If you’re working near your significant other, pop by during lunch, even if it’s just for five minutes. “My boyfriend and I work in the same area, and though it’s hectic at work, I’ll find a chance once in a while, usually during lunch, to drop by his office just to give him a hug or a kiss,” says Noelle Lee, an auditor.