Got a relationship problem? JASON GODFREY, our man about town, is here to help.
PHOTOGRAPHY TAN WEI TE
I’ve been with my boyfriend for seven months and it’s love. But since meeting, we’ve spent all our time together, neglecting the real world, and I feel suff ocated. I’m into us, but I miss my alone time and my girlfriends. How do I explain without hurting his feelings?
The never-ending honeymoon period is only a problem when the honeymoon ends for one person and not the other. You’re right about needing to nip this in the bud. It’s great to spend time together, but long-term, it can turn you both into that creepy isolated couple. Tell your man that you love him but you need your own space for your friends, hobbies and shoe shopping. If he truly cares in a non-psycho way, he’ll give you the space you need without feeling insecure and making a big drama out of it.
My husband was married and divorced before he met me. After five years of no contact, his ex has asked to meet up. She knows he’s remarried, but he’s keen to go as he hates bitterness. I’m worried. How do I handle this like a grown-up? Instructions for handling the intrusive ex like an adult:
❶ Don’t post passive-aggressive messages on social media about her.
❷ Don’t steal your husband’s phone to check his messages.
❸ Don’t let stress over her existence cause you to get unduly angry with your husband.
❹ Don’t do anything that’s motivated by fear or jealousy.
❺ Let them meet, let him confirm why they’re not together, and it will sort itself out naturally.
My husband and I got a new dog because I don’t want a family yet. However, he gives the puppy more attention than me! He’s always playing with it, walking it and lets it sleep on our bed. Is it possible to be jealous of a dog?!
Yes it is! My girlfriend loves our dog way more than she loves me – or at least that’s how it seems. Your situation is a classic case of your hubby just flexing his fatherly instincts. Take this time to monitor how good he is with a pet as an indication of how he could behave if you do start a family. And don’t worry, a dog will never replace you – or at least that’s what I tell myself in my relationship…
After the last five dates I went on, I never heard from the guys again. Being a lady, I always message them on my way home or the next day to say thanks for the date but none have responded! Am I being too eager?
Without being on the dates with you to see your interaction with the guys, I’d have to agree with your assessment of eagerness. Think of things that are eager: pets, anxious children, that annoying saleswoman at the phone shop. Remember, dating is a game. Part of the game is appearing unattainable because that denotes confidence and attractiveness. You don’t have to fake your feelings, but maybe after your next date, hold off on the thank-you texts until you hear from the guy first. Then wait an hour before responding to let him sweat it out. Like you said, you’re a lady, so you deserve a gentleman who appreciates your time together just as much as you do.