In which we ask three men to get candid on a very hot topic.
In which we ask three men to get candid on a very hot topic.
"I guess the most frustrating thing about arguing with a woman is that they tend to hold grudges and like to bring old issues into the argument, just to gain ‘control’. For men, we like to settle things directly and when we do, we bury the hatchet then and there. When women constantly remind us of past disagreements, it makes it seem like they really want to pick a fight when there is no need to. That’s something I really don’t understand.
However, the main thing I learnt over time is to just listen to all her arguments first and make a mental summary of what she said before I jump in with mine. It is important to show that you listen to and empathise with her rather than cutting her off whenever you disagree with a certain point she said. This also helps both parties from building up into a state of total anger and prevents a complete nuclear meltdown.” MIN QUAN
“We’re naturally more focused at solving the issue rather than considering why you’re upset about the issue.”
"Men are problem solvers. (It’s why since the dawn of time, men have been told by ladies to just listen and not try to fix their problem. Unless of course, we are the problem.) It’s also just not in our nature to include emotion in the conflict. It’s not that we’re leaving it out deliberately, but rather it doesn’t even cross our minds. For us, it’s black or white, right or wrong.
We hate it when you base arguments on emotion because it’s virtually impossible for us to intuit your thought process leading up to the disagreement. We’re naturally more focused at solving the issue rather than considering why you’re upset about the issue.
So for me, I think the best way of resolving any disagreement is to try to understand it from your partner’s point of view. Unfortunately ladies, this means that you’ll have to start at the very beginning and walk him through everything that led up to you feeling upset. At least until he gets a better understanding of how you think. Both of you may still not agree but being able to put yourself in your partner’s shoes goes a long way in coming to a compromise and ending the fight quickly.” JUSTIN
“My issue with how girls rationalise arguments by utilising both feelings and perceived facts, is that I believe emotions do influence logic and perception of facts.”
"Well, first and foremost, my issue with how girls rationalise arguments by utilising both feelings and perceived facts, is I believe emotions do influence logic and perception of facts. Ever did something completely crazy in the heat of the moment, despite knowing full well it wasn’t the optimal thing to do? That’s why I think when girls let emotions get to their head, it does cloud their judgment, no matter how well they think they can separate emotion from logic.
This ails both men and women simply because we’re all humans and we’re emotional, sentient beings. However, with no intention of being sexist, I do believe it’s possible that men can separate emotions from logic a little better than women can – the similar way men can have sex (relatively easier) without an emotional connection by separating his physical urges from his feelings.
Of course at the same time a woman’s emotions are important to her, so they should be just as important to her man. Quite simply – even if emotions cloud common sense or perspective – the wise man who realises this would not rub them in her face. To quote John Legend, ‘even when [you] lose, [you’re] winning’.” MARC
