“He’s Not Psychic!”

We’re all guilty of expecting bae to read our minds. CLEO’s Editorial Assistant Liu Kai Ying muses about that one time it went really wrong.

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We’re all guilty of expecting bae to read our minds. CLEO’s Editorial Assistant Liu Kai Ying muses about that one time it went really wrong.
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Growing up in a family that speaks without a filter, it’s not difficult for me to express my thoughts to people I love. But as a mere human being, I did eventually fall prey to the stereotype of women expecting their other halves to read their minds.

When it comes to communication in the internet age, my boyfriend is a caveman. He doesn’t have Instagram or Snapchat, and hasn’t even enabled Whatsapp notifications – that means he has no idea who has messaged him until he opens the app! I’m not big on texting, so that’s usually fine by me.

Alas, there was that one day when I was bored and going through PMS. You know that’s a recipe for disaster.

We checked in on each other in the morning, and during lunch, I excitedly sent him photos of a new spot I was at and said we should visit the place together some time.

He didn’t reply, and my stubborn pride dictated that I shouldn’t send a follow up message... cause ain’t nobody wanna be that needy girlfriend. But my thoughts were going wild: is he OK? Did something happen? (Overreacting is definitely one of my PMS symptoms.) 

I didn’t hear from him even when I went to bed, so when we met the next day, I was fuming. The poor dude didn’t know what hit him and I couldn’t say, “I don’t want to talk to you because you didn’t reply my text” (how 10-year-old does that sound?). When he asked what was wrong, all I could think of were, “How could you not know?!” and “Ugh, men are so dumb.” The one thought that should have crossed my mind? “He’s not psychic.”

What happened next wasn’t pretty, but it helped me realise a few things. 

1. Silent treatment isn’t fair

He got annoyed after spending a long time guessing why I was mad. Now that I look back, I get it. If I were him, I’d be upset too. So instead of bottling things up, I now do what my upbringing tells me to do: speak my mind.

2. Keep expectations in check

Some of my friends balk at the idea of managing their expectations, but honestly, we sometimes have superhuman ideas of what our other halves should be like. Sure, I’d love to have breakfast in bed every day but, hey, he’s got a life too.

3. Let my pride go

If I had told him I was worried because he didn’t reply my text, we could have avoided the fight. In a relationship, there really is no place for big egos. Yes, you deserve respect. But to refuse to talk things out with your partner out of spite? Not cool. It’s safe to say that I’ve learnt my lesson from this ridiculous episode, and I’m sure he too has learnt something new: how to calculate my menstrual cycle to prevent a similar disaster from happening. 

When he asked what was wrong, all I could think of was, "how could he not know?!" and "Ugh, men are so dumb."
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