Cars Are Male Or Female

How an automobile looks, sounds and drives determines whether it is male or female.

Portrait of Tammy Strobel

How an automobile looks, sounds and drives determines whether it is male or female.

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TO non-petrolheads, an automobile is just a machine that takes you from point A to point B. But because petrolheads see cars as living beings, they automatically assign a sex to them. How does a car qualify as male or female? Well, it has to do with human gender stereotypes, particularly when it comes to aesthetics. A hulking Hummer and rugged Land Rover Defender, for instance, are definitely males, for they’re like warriors of old who conquer inhospitable terrain. Despite its wide “hips”, a Porsche 911 is masculine, not feminine. 

ILLUSTRATIONS 123RF.COM
ILLUSTRATIONS 123RF.COM

Although said model in the animated movie Cars is female (Sally Carrera), the 911 drives more like a Teutonic stallion than a German mare. Some American muscle cars are a bit tricky. The square-jawed Dodge Challenger is definitely male, but the latest Chevrolet Corvette may draw mixed opinions because, although it has a curvy bonnet, it also has an angular rear end. Certain classic cars, on the other hand, leave no room for confusion. The 1962 Ferrari 250 GTO, with its long bonnet and pert bum, is all woman. Ditto the 1957 Mercedes-Benz 300SL Roadster.

Colour doesn’t determine a car’s “sex”.
Colour doesn’t determine a car’s “sex”.

Certain classic cars, on the other hand, leave no room for confusion. The 1962 Ferrari 250 GTO, with its long bonnet and pert bum, is all woman. Ditto the 1957 Mercedes-Benz 300SL Roadster. The most aggressive yet feminine car I’ve driven lately is the Jaguar F-Type R. This alluring coupe draws admiring glances with its lines, while intimidating other motorists with its angry voice. The crack of its exhaust even sounds like the crack of a bullwhip.

This makes me picture the F-Type as an “automotive dominatrix” screaming for more high-octane fuel. Naturally, her submissive driver willingly obliges (despite the pain in his wallet). A car’s “sex”, however, does not aff ect its performance. Be it male or female, a poorly manufactured vehicle will be mediocre at best, while a properly engineered automobile is probably a rewarding drive. A well-built car that’s fun to drive and good-looking, on the other hand, is simply sublime.

Jeremy practises double standards – he thinks that all automobiles should be respected, but feels that the female cars deserve extra tlc.

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