How do you get your little one to behave better without yelling at or punishing him? DR RICHARD C. WOOLFSON has 10 suggestions
ILLUSTRATION CHENG PUAY KOON
How do you get your little one to behave better without yelling at or punishing him? DR RICHARD C. WOOLFSON has 10 suggestions.
Spending day after day with a demanding one-year-old can test your patience and push you to the limit.
You don’t want to punish him, but you feel forced into that negative style of parenting. It’s time to turn things around.
Here are 10 suggestions on how you can use positive discipline instead:
Have more “do” rules than “don’ts”
It’s far more effective to tell your toddler what he should do instead of what he shouldn’t do.
Reward good behaviour
Praise him when he does what you ask, more often than punishing him when he doesn’t obey.
Avoid bribery
Never try to stop your little one in the middle of an outburst by promising him a reward if he stops misbehaving.
Use a range of incentives
Every child is different – what works for one might not have the same effect with another (for example, praise, hugs, treats, games and outings). But you’ll soon get to know which rewards are most effective with your tot.
Consider a sticker chart
Some parents find that a sticker chart works well for their young child. For instance, you could have a chart by his bed. Put a special sticker on it every time he tries to put his T-shirt on by himself. He’ll be very excited whenever he receives a new piece.
Praise him in front of others
When your little one has been especially helpful or obedient at home, let him see you tell other people about it. Perhaps you can make an announcement about this when his grandparents visit.
Or maybe you can call your friend, so your kid hears you share how well he has behaved that day.
Give spontaneous cuddles
Of course you hug him, for instance, when he acts kindly without being prompted by you. But you can also give him a big cuddle for his good behaviour in general. You could add: “You’ve been such a good boy this week, you have made me very happy.”
Use reasonable rewards
Make them proportionate to the behaviour, otherwise your young one will become confused. For instance, you need not give him a huge plush toy simply because he put away his toys neatly that morning. Small rewards are often more effective than larger ones.
Don’t use only tangible rewards
You can also encourage Junior to behave because of the pleasure he receives from showing thoughtfulness to others.
Letting him see how pleased you are with him can be just as encouraging as giving him a toy. A mixture of both types of incentives works best.
Vary the frequency of positive reinforcement
You might find that he begins to expect a reward every time he behaves well or completes a task. He may even develop a tendency to be defiant when a reward isn’t immediately forthcoming. So don’t reward him all the time, even when he behaves appropriately.
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