...doing things you never thought you’d do, until you became a parent. By NEIL HUMPHREYS
CHANGING A DIAPER despite the stench melting your face.
REPLACING A URINE-STAINED BED SHEET at 3am together.
IGNORING THE FACT that her snoring is making the windows rattle.
HAVING AN IN-DEPTH CONVERSATION when one of you is on the toilet.
FETCHING A TOILET ROLL for your spouse on the loo.
CLIPPING TOENAILS and brushing teeth, together, in the same room.
LINING UP FOR AN HOUR at a theme park ride without killing someone.
WIPING AWAY A CHILD’S VOMIT after the theme park ride.
SPENDING AN EVENING with the in-laws.
HOSTING A CHILD’S BIRTHDAY PARTY with sugary treats in a confined space.
HOSTING A CHILD’S BIRTHDAY PARTY and inviting the in-laws.
TAKING A CHILD TO THE TOILET during the best bit of a movie.
WATCHING FROZEN for the thousandth time.
PRETENDING NOT TO LOOK at other attractive men and women.
HUGGING IN BED because you’re too tired to raise a smile, let alone anything else.
