Overcome your parental FOMO (fear of missing out) blues with these strategies from DR RICHARD C. WOOLFSON.
Overcome your parental FOMO (fear of missing out) blues with these strategies from DR RICHARD C. WOOLFSON.
Your friends send their twoyear- olds to childcare centres with amazing facilities and highly qualiffied staff, then sign them up for a huge range of fantastic toddler activities.
You worry when you hear them talking with one another about all of this. These services and activities are so unbelievably expensive – you could never afford them – and now you are suffering badly from parental FOMO (fear of missing out.)
Here are five ways to overcome the FOMO blues:
Focus on parenting basics Your toddler can’t care less about how many designer shirts you buy for her, or how much you paid so she could bounce around in that fancy new trampoline centre.
She’s just as happy when you painted her face like a cat as she would if a professional face-painter did that instead.
What matters to her is that you love her, you nurture her, you care for her and you make her feel valued and safe. So, concentrate more on the important aspects of parenting, and less on the trivial.
Value “homemade” When you stop equating expensive activities with good parenting, you start to overcome FOMO. Consider it rationally: You know “expensive” doesn’t necessarily mean “better.”
Of course, your toddler will have a good time painting pre-made pottery at that costly class run for two-year-olds. But she’ll almost have a better time doing that same activity with you at home. It’s the “you” part that money can’t buy – you are the value-add.
Forget social-media hype Have you ever noticed digital-savvy parents don’t post pictures of their child having a meltdown? Nor do they proudly upload photos of themselves in tears because their toddler won’t go to sleep.
If you believe everything other parents tell you about themselves and their children on social media, you end up believing everybody (except you) has a perfect life with a perfect partner and perfect children. And that is total nonsense.
Treat parenting posts on social media with a huge pinch of salt because these are often based on fantasy rather than reality.
Make your own choices for your child Your toddler loves you because of your uniqueness. It’s the way you smile at her with love, the way only you can comfort her when she is upset, and the way she has such fun with you. She trusts you and knows you make the best choices for her.
So why should you start to have self-doubt just because others continually boast about how much they spend on their children?
Choose the best activities for your toddler; don’t do anything with your child just because others are doing it too. Think for yourself.
Absorb yourself in the moment There’s huge secret about parenting you won’t discover until your child grows up and leaves home: It all goes by in the blink of an eye.
And that’s when you really understand that expensive classes, fancy holidays, and ridiculously costly childcare are irrelevant. You won’t remember sharing a five-star hotel bedroom with your child, but you will remember when you both splashed in the puddle in the street.
So, saviour every experience you share with your child. When you do that, FOMO fades completely.
"When you stop equating expensive activities with good parenting, you start to overcome FOMO."
ILLUSTRATION CHENG PUAY KOON
